Character Ethics vs Personality Ethics

Some of you may be wondering why am I such a huge fan of Dr Stephen Covey's teachings?

Well, it's because of something that he has taught in this short video, which has shifted my paradigm ever since.

Stephen Covey explaining the character ethic and the personality ethic

Back when I first read about this in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", I could totally relate to it because of an experience I had in school.

There were 2 students in my class - Peter and John (both not their real names). Both of them were smart students, but with different ethics.

John was a diligent student. He had always done all the research himself and completed all his homework by his own without fail. Being an introvert, he was not the type of student that teachers would notice much in class.

On the other hand, Peter was a lazy student. He had always copied John's work. Sometimes, Peter would even cheat during exams by bringing in small slips of notes, or making secret pacts with others to copy each others' answers. Being an extrovert, he was the sweet talker who would sweet talk his way into the hearts of his teachers. All the teachers adore him.

At the end of the day, Peter had always scored better results than John. Teachers would speak so highly of Peter, citing him as a role model for other fellow students to learn from. Meanwhile, there was no mention of John, even though he was always the first to submit his homework by his own hard work.

Over the years, I had heard of others' comments on both Peter and John. Some had said that Peter studied smart, which was why he scored better results despite not being as hardworking as John, and therefore deserved the credit. Some had even teased and laughed at John for being so diligent but yet not delivering results when it mattered the most.

This example has clearly shown that most people nowadays have shifted into the "personality ethics" category. Here are more evidence:

• People reading books or attending courses to learn how to write impressive resumes to cover for their meagre skills and knowledge. (If a candidate is really good in skills and knowledge, his resume would naturally be impressive.)
• People seeking quick tips on how to excel in job interviews. (If a candidate has substance, he would naturally excel in job interviews.)
• People, who normally dress like a thug, going for makeover sessions to get themselves a "success look", so as to look impressive during job interviews. (If a candidate observes good hygiene and proper grooming, he would naturally look good under any circumstance.)

Nevertheless, let me clarify this. There is no right or wrong in terms of choosing which set of ethics to abide by. But personally, I'm a strong believer in character ethics and the inside-out approach. I buy more into John's character than Peter's personality. Call me a dinosaur if you like, but that is one thing about me which is not going to change.  :)

Begin with the End in Mind

Welcome to the world of imagination...

Imagine if you're an artist, and you're about to paint a masterpiece about your life, how would your painting look like? What is the story that you would like to portray in your painting? What are the things that you would feature in your painting? What colours would you use for your painting? And what kind of tributes would you like others to give to your painting?

Your life is like a masterpiece, and you're the painter who decides how the masterpiece would look like. You're given the opportunity to  paint your very own unique story.

FranklinCoveys 7 Habits Video Preview: Masterpiece

Imagine today you're celebrating your 80th birthday. Your family members, close relatives and friends are gathered around you. Someone starts a round of toast for you. What would you like these people to toast about you?

FranklinCovey's 7 Habits Video Preview: 80th Birthday

Everyone has equal opportunities to live through an experience twice: first in the mind, second in reality. Don't miss the first opportunity, because it's gone once the second sets in.

Tearing Down the "Berlin Wall"

What did the world get when the famous Berlin Wall was torn down in year 1990?

• We get to see the German reunification.
• We see the rise of the new Germany to become one of the most powerful countries and economies in the world.

And many more.

What about your life? Do you have walls around you? Imagine if these walls were to be torn down like the Berlin Wall, what would you get?

Watch this enlightening video from my all-time idol Dr Stephen Covey for an enlightening short lesson.  :)

Keys to tearing down walls:

• Think "we", not "me".
• Listen to understand, not to reply.
• Believe in Third Alternatives.

It starts from YOU.

Why Do You Wake Up Every Morning?

Few days ago, my mentor asked me, "Why do you wake up every morning?" I guess what he really meant is:

What is the purpose that drives me out of bed every morning?

Of course, I did know my answer very clearly. But I do remember there was a period of time in my life that I had lived without a purpose. I was merely hanging on to my life because there was nothing to take it away from me and that my heart was still beating. In other words, I have been through times where I had lived without any purpose, and times like now where everyday of my life is full of purpose.

Your answer to the question above tells you a lot about yourself and where are you heading to. Some may say:

"Huh? Never thought about it wor."

"Need reason one meh? That's just something natural to do wor. That's part of life ma, right?"

"Aiya, if I wake up today, I live another day loh."

"To get to office on time lah. So that I won't be late loh."

"Wah, every morning when I wake up ar, there are so many things I need to do loh. I need to take the kids to school lah. I need to go to the market la. I need to go to the post office to settle some bills lah. I need to rush home to cook lah, so that I won't miss my favourite drama series...."

Whatever your answer is, just ask yourself, are you satisfied with your answer?

If you're satisfied with your answer, carry on. You're definitely on track for what you're looking for.

If you're not satisfied with your answer, obviously you need start thinking and doing something different.

Introducing to you...

Principle #2 - Be Clear Why You're Here

Quoting some of the most impactful remarks made by Jack Canfield in this chapter:

I believe each of us is born with a life purpose. Identifying, acknowledging, and honouring this purpose is perhaps the most important action successful people take They take time to understand what they're here to do - and then they pursue that with passion and enthusiasm.

Purpose can bring an aspect of fun and fulfillment to virtually everything I do.

Without a purpose in life, it's easy to get side-tracked on your life's journey. But with a purpose, everything in life seems to fall into place. To be "on purpose" means you're doing what you love to do, doing what you're good at and accomplishing what's important to you. When you are truly on purpose, the people, resources and opportunities you need naturally gravitate towards you. The world benefits, too, because when you act in alignment with your true life purpose, all of your actions automatically serve others.

Everything you do should be an expression of your purpose. If an activity doesn't fit that formula, you wouldn't work on it. Period.

You were born with an inner guidance system that tells you when you are on or off purpose by the amount of joy you are experiencing. The things that bring you the greatest joy are in alignment with your purpose.

I urge you to find your dreams and discover your life purpose. Reading this book really helps a lot. I sincerely would like to see everyone around me happily living their lives on purpose.

My purpose is to use my passion in learning and leadership skills to inspire and lead others to achieve their fullest potential in life and live the lives of their dreams with their families and loved ones!

Do You Feel Responsible for Your Life?

I have been reading this brilliant book by Jack Canfield "How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be" for some time. In this book, Jack Canfield has laid out the 25 principles of success, and to begin with...

Principle #1 - Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life.

Many times I have seen people put the blame on external factors for the disappointments in their life. They put the blame on luck for not having the one golden opportunity to succeed. They put the blame on their spouses for not being supportive and understanding enough when they wish to pursue a new career or investment opportunity. They put the blame on office politics and favouritism for not getting the promotion that they have longed for. They put the blame on their children for occupying their precious time, and so not having the time to pursue any business venture. They put the blame on almost everything under the sun, expect for themselves. I had been guilty of all these too.

"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself." ~ Jim Rohn.

This basically says that, if you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. Taking 100% responsiblity means you acknowledge that you create everything that happens to you. It means you understand that you are the cause of all your experience. This can be simplified further with this formula below:

E + R = O

(Event + Response = Outcome)

The idea of this formula is that every outcome you experience in life is the result of how you have responded to earlier events in your life.

Can we change the events which are occuring outside of us? Posible, but not likely.

Can we change our response towards the events? Absolutely yes. We can continually change our responses to the events until we get the outcome that we want.

The life you currently live is the result of all of your past thoughts and actions. If you want things to change for the better...

You have to give up blaming.

You have to give up complaining.

You have to start paying attention to the results you produce. Results don't lie.

When you start taking responsibility for your life, that is when you start gaining ownership over your life.

"99% of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses." ~ George Washington Carver.

Three Feet from Gold

Have you ever wondered whether some of the things you had given up in the past could be similar to this "three feet from gold" story below?

The first car of ore was mined, and shipped to a smelter. The returns proved they had one of the richest mines in Colorado! A few more cars of that ore would clear the debts. Then would come the big killing in profits.

Down went the drills! Up went the hopes of Darby and Uncle! Then something happened! The vein of gold ore disappeared! They had come to the end of the rainbow, and the pot of gold was no longer there! They drilled on, desperately trying to pick up the vein again - all to no avail.

Finally, they decided to quit.

They sold the machinery to a junk man for a few hundred dollars, and took the train back home. Some "junk" men are dumb, but not this one! He called in a mining engineer to look at the mine and do a little calculating. The engineer advised that the project had failed because the owners were not familiar with the "fault lines". His calculations showed that the vein would be found JUST THREE FEET FROM WHERE THE DARBYS HAD STOPPED DRILLING! That is exactly where it was found!

The "junk" man took millions of dollars in ore from the mine, because he knew enough to seek expert counsel before giving up.

This story tells us there are 4 steps in getting to your GOLD:

Step #1 - Drill hard.

Step #2 - When all things fail, stop, but do not give up.

Step #3 - Seek expert counsel to study the "fault lines".

Step #4 - Continue drilling hard.


Imagine that was you in the story, just three feet from gold and giving up...what an incredible loss!

How Do We Inspire Ourselves to Greatness?

I love this particular scene in the movie "Invictus". It has taught me so much about motivation and leadership. A good leader leads by example. A great leader leads by inspiring others. A good leader shows you the right things to do. A great leader inspires you to find the right things to do.

Nelson Mandela: Tell me, Francois. What is your philosophy on leadership? How do you inspire your team to do their best?

Francois Pienaar: By example. I've always thought to lead by example, sir.

Nelson Mandela: Well, that is right. That is exactly right. But how do we get them to be better then they think they CAN be? That is very difficult, I find. Inspiration, perhaps. How do we inspire ourselves to greatness when nothing less will do? How do we inspire everyone around us? I sometimes think it is by using the work of others. On Robben Island, when things got really bad, I found inspiration in a poem.

Francois Pienaar: A poem?

Nelson Mandela: A Victorian poem. Just words, but they helped me to stand when all I wanted to do was to lie down.

"We need inspiration, Francois. Because, in order to build our nation, we must all exceed our own expectations."

And this applies to other things in life as well, be it in your career or business venture. Truly amazing wisdom!

Why Do We Fall?

Christopher Nolan's Batman Trilogy has always been among my favourite movies of all time. Style, action and fantasy aside, its complete package also comes with loads of memorable lines and inspirational quotes, which easily hit the hearts of melancholies like me spot on.

Someone said something to me today which sort of reminded me of one of the scenes in Batman Begins, where Alfred said something inspirational to Bruce Wayne:

"Why do we fall, sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

 



Falling, and picking ourselves up. It's all part of our learning process in life. We used to do that a lot when we first learned how to walk as a little child. Occasionally we would cry out loud when we fall hard on our face or chin. But after that, we would pick ourselves up again, and take our next step.

So what have I learned from this?

• Every fall lets us realize the mistake we had done.
• Every cry lets us release the emotional stress and disappointment of missing our target.
• After every cry we would calm down, reflect and re-strategize how to get ourselves up again.
• Every time we get back on our feet, we further strengthen our mentality and improvise our skills.

Just like the famous song,

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I really cherished the times I fell. The bigger the fall, the harder the impact, the stronger I become.  :)

The Man Who "Thought" His Way into Partnership with Thomas A. Edison

Here are the two lessons I have learned from this story.

When this DESIRE, or impulse of thought, first flashed into his mind, he was in no position to act upon it. Two difficulties stood in his way. He did not know Mr Edison, and he did not have enough money to pay his railroad fee to Orange, New Jersey.

These difficulties were sufficient to have discouraged the majority of men from making any attempt to carry out the desire. But his was no ordinary desire! He was so determined to find a way to carry out his desire that he finally decided to travel by way of "blind baggage," rather than be defeated.

Years later, Mr Edison said, "He stood there before me, looking like an ordinary tramp, but there was something in the expression of his face that conveyed the impression that he was determined to get what he had come after."

Lesson #1 - A person with a BURNING DESIRE does not allow difficulties to hinder his progress, and will do whatever it takes to get to the things that he is looking for.

When the opportunity came, it appeared in a different form and from a different direction than Barnes had expected. That is one of the tricks of opportunity. It has a sly habit of slipping in the back door, and often it comes disguised in the form of misfortune or temporary defeat. Perhaps this is why so many fail to recognize opportunity.

Mr Edison had just perfected a new office device, known at that time, as the Edison Dictating Machine. His salesmen were not enthusiastic over the machine. They did not believe it could be sold without great effort. Barnes saw his opportunity.

He did sell the machine. In fact, he sold it so successfully that Edison gave him a contract to distribute and market it all over the nation.

Lesson #2 - Successful people are the ones who could recognize the silver lining (opportunity) in every cloud (obstacles).

How to Read Your Future?

Would you like to read your future? Of course the answer is yes. But the problem is HOW?

For so many centuries and decades, humans have resorted to a multitude of different ways in trying to predict the future. Tarot cards, crystal ball, Nostradamus, Bazi and many more, you name it. But most of the times, humans have ended up doing things the other way round instead. It is only when something has happened that people would get to correlate the event with some scriptures from the past. For instance, the correlation between 911 and Nostradamus.

So, can we really read our future? I personally believe that yes, we can. In fact it has already been proven. Whenever we READ something, we are actually reading OUR OWN future.

Huh? Here's the simple logic. Our very own world comes from our knowledge, and a major part of our knowledge actually comes from what we READ. Without knowing, most of us are actually READING OUR FUTURE almost everyday.

Recently, I have just finished reading "The Richest Man in Babylon", and I am so astonished by the things that I have read in this book. For your information, this book was written by George S. Clason in year 1926. If you have read some of my previous posts in this blog, you would have noticed that things such as the "seven cures for a lean purse" and the "five laws of gold" are common teaching preached by most of our modern day financial gurus.

Who would have thought that something which was written 86 years ago could have such a huge impact on our lives today? And who would have thought that something carved onto some clay tablets a few thousand years ago in Babylon would one day be re-written in modern English, and become the foundation of modern financial thinking?

Having said this, whatever that we READ today is going to form our thinking, and our thinking put into action is going to form the REALITY tomorrow. Instead of PREDICTING our future, we are indeed CREATING our future. Imagine you're looking at a person reading a book today, and you know what the contents of the book is all about, wouldn't you be able to sort of predict the thought process going through in this person's mind? Wouldn't you be able to predict how this person is going to react to certain circumstances which relate to the contents of the book?

Put this into our own context, we are actually READING OUR FUTURE by the books that we read today.

Look at the things in your present. Are these things what you had wanted as a future five years ago? If not, most likely you're not reading the books that would help you create the reality that you wished for.   Just like the saying goes, "YOU ARE WHAT YOU READ."   Choose wisely.  :)  

The eons of time have crumbled to dust the proud walls of its temples, but the wisdom of Babylon endures.

~ George S. Clason, author of "The Richest Man in Babylon"

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

 

I would like to dedicate this song to all of you who have been following this blog...

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Let your heart be light

From now on our troubles

Will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Make the yuletide gay

From now on our troubles

Will be miles away

Here we are as in olden days

Happy golden days of yore

Faithful friends who are dear to us

Gather near to us once more

Through the year

We all will be together

If the fates allow

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

And have yourself A merry little Christmas, now 

Faithful friends who are dear to us

Gather near to us once more 

Through the years

We all will be together

If the fates allow

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

And have yourself A merry little Christmas, now

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Future

Yesterday I listened to an impactful speech by a successful local entrepreneur. His speech was so impactful that I have listened to it today for the second time. In his speech, he shared 2 very funny, and yet thought-provoking, stories which effectively relate to the title of this post.


Story #1

A rich man went to see a wise old man to seek for advice. He asked the old man, "Tell me, how can I be happy in life?" The old man said, "Listen carefully. In order to be happy in life, everything that you see has to be in green colour." And so the rich man thanked the old man for his advice and left.

Three months later, the rich man had indeed become happy with his life and wanted to repay the wise old man for his advice. So he invited the old man over for a dinner at his place. When the old man arrived, he was so surprised to see that everything at the rich man's place was green in colour: the whole bungalow was painted in green, the BMW was green in colour, all the furniture in the house were green, and even the maids were wearing green uniforms.

The old man couldn't believe what he saw, and asked, "How much did you spend to change all these things into green?"

The rich man replied, "I spent a total of $500,000 on all these. And it really works! Thank you so much for your advice."

Surprisingly, the old man reacted by scolding the rich man, "You're so stupid. Why did you spend so much money to change everything into green? You could have just spent $50 on a pair of green glasses, and when you wear it, everything will become green lah! Haiyo.."

The morale of this story - everything in your life will start to change once you decide to adopt a new perspective in looking at things. You don't have to change others, you just need to change your thinking.


Story #2

Once upon a time, there lived a hat seller in a small village. One day, the hat seller felt tired and decided to take a short nap under a tree. He slept wearing one of his hat, while the rest of the hats were left on the ground beside him.

After resting for a while, the hat seller woke up and was shock to see that all his hats were gone. He looked up the tree only to realise that the monkeys were wearing his hats. He was so desperate to retrieve all his hats, and tried everything from shouting to hurling stones at the monkeys, but nothing seemed to work.

Out of frustration, he took off his hat and threw it hard on the ground. To his amazement, the monkeys also mimicked his action and threw all the hats on the ground. Monkey see, monkey do. And so he quickly kept all the hats and left the place.

30 years later, the hat seller had a grandson, who also ended becoming a hat seller like him. (Monkey see, monkey do..) One day, the grandson took a nap under a tree and carelessly left his hats on the ground beside him. When he woke up, he was shocked to discover that the monkeys had taken his hats.

Then he recalled the lesson that his grandpa had taught him. So he took of his hat, and threw it hard onto the ground. But to his surprise, the monkeys did not throw the hats down this time.

Just as he was about to become panic, one of the monkeys shouted from the trees, "Hello, you think you're the only one who has a grandfather ah?"

The morale of the story - monkey see, monkey do. Even the monkeys know that times have changed and they have to become smarter and not repeat past mistakes in order to survive. What about us?


And here's another thought-provoking piece from his speech.

Do you know why people say "bless you" when someone sneezes?

Back in the very old days when medical science was not as advanced, people used to believe that:

• Sneezing is an early symptom of the bubonic plague, which kills about two thirds of infected humans within 4 days.

• A person's soul could be thrown from their body when they sneezed.

• Sneezing opens the body to invasion by the Devil.

• The heart stops beating during a sneeze.

Which was why people say the words "bless you" to a person who sneeze, in a hope that God would bless the person from the terrible happenings above.

Nowadays, with medical science more advanced than ever, why do we still say "bless you" when someone sneezes? Is it just purely following a tradition without knowing the actual purpose of doing so?

The morale - do not follow blindly what others do. If we blindly follow what the majority of people do, we'll end up getting what the majority of people get.


Again, here's the message:

When you change your thinking, you can change your future.

Lessons I Learned From Playing Big Two

For most of us who grew up being fanatic followers of the "God of Gambler" movie franchise, our Chinese New Year celebrations would definitely not be complete without a game of Black Jack, Baccarat, Poker, Big Two or Mahjong with our family members, relatives and close friends. It is often said that the Chinese, in particular, are good at calculation because of their exposure to such games, which obviously do involve some form of calculation. Failing to calculate accurately would mean a disaster to our hard-earned "angpow" money.  :)

I, for one, is a huge fan of the card game popularly known as Big Two. I love this game so much because:

1. It makes me think.
2. It gives me thrills.
3. It tests my self-control.

And on top of all, it gives me some extra pocket money IF I do well for the 3 items above.  :)

In a game of Big Two, you will find many types of players with different characters and playing styles, but for the benefit of our topic here, I just would like to talk about these 3 types of players:

1. Bad players
• Players who get angry, and start cursing or slamming their cards on the table upon being dealt with a bad hand.
• In real life, these are the sort of people who keep complaining about not having luck, or see themselves as victims to life's various challenges.
2. Mediocre players
• Players who get disheartened, and play by the flow with the hope of not losing too much upon being dealt with a bad hand.
• In real life, these are the sort of submissive people who accept fate and tend to live by the rules of the majority or remain within their comfort zone.
3. Good players
• Players who smile and remain poised, and start plotting their strategy to win the game despite being dealt with a bad hand.
• In real life, these are the sort of fighters who challenge status quo, dare to change the rules of the game and grab the bull by the horns.

I have also heard of instances where there are some wise elderly people within the Chinese community who secretly use a game of social gambling after meal to gauge the character of their potential son-in-laws. These candidates are rated to see which of the categories above do they fall into:

1. Bad players would face elimination.
• Who would want their daugthers to marry a loser who gets emotional easily?
2. Mediocre players would be KIV.
• Who would want their daughters to marry a "yes" man who doesn't know how to fend of challenges?
3. Good players would get "promotion"  :)

So...which type of player are you?

Are you someone who blames everything on luck?

Are you someone who plays by the rules of others?

Or are you a FIGHTER?


And by the way, who says cards are just for gambling?  :)

The Shrinking Middle Class

In Chapter 3 of this book, Robert Kiyosaki shared his view on why people, especially the middle class, need to increase their financial IQ.

There are many definitions of intelligence. One of the more practical ones I learned from my rich dad is, "Intelligence is the ability to solve problems." For example, in school, if you can solve math problems, you are considered intelligent. Out of school, if you can fix a car, you are deemed to have automotive intelligence. When it comes to money, the bigger financial problems you can solve, the higer your financial intelligence. ~ Robert Kiyosaki

Because of the many pressing issues that we face in our world today, such as:

1. Value of the dollar/ringgit falling
2. National debt increasing
3. Oil prices rising
4. Wages decreasing with respect to inflation
5. Lack of financial education being taught

our demographic population is changing - the rich are getting richer, and everyone else is getting poorer, even though many people are making more money. In simple words, our world population is on its way to towards the extinction of the middle class.

Now the questions to these problems are:

1. What can we do?
2. What are the solutions?
3. Is our financial IQ high enough?
4. How do we avoid becoming victims?
5. How do we protect our families from falling victim?

"Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to fish and you feed him for life."

Many people are still placing their hopes on governments, employers and even "a change of luck" to pull them out of these problems. Many people are still WAITING. In other words, these people know that they ARE in trouble, yet they are still waiting for someone to feed them a fish and live for another day. Is this strategy going to work? Most of us are already staring at the cruel answer in front of us.

So why not start learning how to fish and feel yourselves for life?

What Story Are You Writing For Yourself?

Here are two of the most inspiring speeches I have ever heard, and I'm sure most of you have listened to these two speeches as well.

Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future."

"I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith."

"And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

"When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: 'If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."

"Stay hungry. Stay foolish."

Inspirational Speech by Dr Randy Pausch On the Oprah Winfrey Show The Last Lecture

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer."

"You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better."

"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people."

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."

What these two great gentlemen have in common is that they have left behind their legacy in the form of real life stories which will continue to inspire people to achieve their dreams and live a great life.

These two gentlemen had started writing their stories long before they even knew that they would one day be sharing these stories to people all around the world.

Have you decided what stories are you going to tell to your next generation?

How would your story sound like?

Is it going to be a story that speaks of your determination in achieving your dreams?

Or is it going to be a story that speaks of your regrets, misadventures and how you had lost sight of your dreams?

Like it or not, you are writing your story NOW. Choose your contents wisely.  :)

Important Lessons in Leadership

Three important lessons I learned about leadership today:

1. Nobody wants to stay in the team of a "leader" who makes people feel stupid, useless, redundant, isolated and excluded.
2. Always treat people with heart and sincerity. Don't be a hypocrite who treats people as a "someone" when they are on the rise, and treat people as a "nobody" when they are on the decline. Even on their decline, peo...ple still see you as their leader who has once led them to their rise.
3. To grow as a leader, you need to have a big heart to accept and forgive the people who have done #1 and #2 to you, and move on with the awareness to stop this vicious cycle from passing on to someone else.

I would like to thank all of you from the very bottom of my heart for teaching me these invaluable lessons today.

 

To those of you who have ever felt being at the receiving end of #1 and #2 from me, please accept my sincere apology. I assure you that it was not at all intentional, and I'll be more aware of #1, #2 and #3 from now onwards.

Innovation and Thinking

Today I just had a fruitful and fun department training-cum-teambuilding event. Thank you so much to the training facilitator Michael Song for his passion and enthusiasm in sharing his insights on innovation. My deepest gratitude also goes to my colleague Man Wai and her team of helpers for their hard work in organizing this event successfully.

The training was about innovation. These are some highlights of the training which I find useful for me:


The end goal of innovation has to be crystal clear.

If you think well, execution is just matter of time. But if you don't think well, you're going to bump into all sorts of problems during execution.

In order for innovative solutions to surface, the problem definition has to be accurately formed.

The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. ~ Albert Einstein

One of the methods for generating innovative ideas is the "Problem Reversal" method.

Example 1: Instead of asking "How do we get people to work?", try asking "How do we get the work to people?"

Example 2: Instead of asking "How do we get the production line to be more efficient?", try asking "How do we get the production line to be less inefficient?" or "How do we make improvements to the production line so that people enjoy their work more?"

One of the important factors for innovation is perspective.

Many times we see only things that we want to see, or things that we've been used to seeing, or even things that we've been trained to see. It is our failure to adopt fresh perspective that has caused innovation to die off in the process.

Can you read the message?

 

What do you see in this picture?

 

For the first picture, just by the squinting of your eyes, you'll be able to easily read the message "NO SEX CAUSES BAD EYES".

For the second picture, a 5-year-old kid would easily tell you that they see a few dolphins, instead of what you think  *Ahem*

You may share these with your friends if you find them useful.  :)

What Does Your Soul Tell of You?

Do you have the soul of a slave? Or the soul of a free man?

I read this inspiring story about one camel trader in Babylon, who was once a slave, but found the determination to worked his way out of his debts and became a rich camel trader.

It starts with the mind. If one sees the image of himself as a free man, then he is going to be a free man no matter what.

"How can you call yourself a free man when your weakness has brought you to this? If a man has in himself the soul of a slave will he not become one no matter what his birth, even as water seeks its level? If a man has within him the soul of a free man, will he not become respected and honored in his own city in spite of his own misfortune?"

Then it goes on to say that one must set himself apart from the people that he doesn't intend to be.

For over a year I was a slave and lived with the slaves, but I could not become as one of them. One day Sira asked me, "In the eventime when the other slaves can mingle and enjoy the society of each other, why dost thou sit in thy tent alone?"

To which I responded, "I am pondering what you have said to me. I wonder if I have the soul of a slave. I cannot join them, so I must sit apart."

But it all comes down to one's determination to get through his challenges along the way of setting himself free from the bondage of his old self image.

I looked across into the uninviting distance and once again came to me the question, "Have I the soul of a slave or the soul of a free man?" Then with clearness I realized that if I had the soul of a slave, I should give up, lie down in the desert and die, a fitting end for a runaway slave.

But if I had the soul of a free man, what then? Surely I would force my way back to Babylon, repay the people who had trusted me, bring happiness to my wife who truly loved me and bring peace and contentment to my parents.

And sometimes it just requires a little bit of faith on one's part to realize the one truth which has led men of all ages out of difficulties and into success.

WHERE THE DETERMINATION IS, THE WAY CAN BE FOUND.

If you truly believe and see yourself as being financially free one day in the future, if you start setting yourselves apart from your old self, if your efforts and determination are strong and sincere, your faith will surely be repaid eventually.  :)

Does Music Give Phelps An Unfair Advantage?

I recalled that I had once read this article shared by a successful motivation speaker, titled "Does music give Phelps an unfair advantage?"

You can read it here:
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/sports/specialevents/blog/2008/08/does_music_give_phelps_an_unfa.html

Here are some excerpts from the article:

Did you notice that Michael Phelps wears earphones and is listening to music just before his every Olympic start, at Beijing’s Olympiad Water Cube pool deck, be it finals or semifinals? I first noticed that before his first gold swim on August 10: Phelps removed earphones 2 minutes before the start, and he was the only swimmer who worn earphones at the pool deck. Intriguing scientific evidence testifies: Listening to music improves blood oxygen capacity and is a performance enhancement.

Dr. Koelsch says that "music can have influences on the breathing rate (e.g. via emotional effects such an increased arousal) which will alter oxygen levels in the blood, or relaxing effects (so that fewer muscles consume oxygen, which also increases oxygen levels)."

Do you have any particular music or song which turns you on every time you listen to it?

Here's one of my favourites.  :)

No Boundaries ~ Adam Lambert

Make All Your Wishes Come True

Would you like to make all your wishes come true?

Follow these simple steps from the book:

1. List down your top ten desires as though you've already received it. Write in the following way:
• Thank you, thank you, thank you for (your desire).
2. With your imagination, answer these questions in your mind as though you've already received each of your desires:
• What emotions did you feel?
• Who was the first person you shared the excitement with?
• What is the first great thing you did when you received your desire?
3. Re-read the sentence listing your desire, and really emphasizing on the words, thank you.
4. Create a Magic Board with title "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU" if you like. Place it where you can see it often. Attach pictures about your desires on it.

In doing so, you're tapping into the powerful potential of visualization to help you attract your desires to you. Try it.  :)

The Five Laws of Gold

The First Law of Gold

Gold cometh gladly and in increasing quantity to any man who will put by not less than one-tenth of his earnings to create an estate for his future and that of his family.

The Second Law of Gold

Gold laboreth diligently and contentedly for the wise owner who finds for it profitable employment, multiplying even as the flocks of the field.

The Third Law of Gold

Gold clingeth to the protection of the cautious owner who invests it under the advice of men wise in its handling.

The Fourth Law of Gold

Gold slippeth away from the man who invests it in businesses or purposes with which he is not familiar or which are not approved by those skilled in its keep.

The Fifth Law of Gold

Gold flees the man who would force it to impossible earnings or who followeth the alluring advice of tricksters and schemers or who trusts it to his own inexperience and romantic desires in investment.

Once you understand the underlying message of the five laws above, do start to treat your gold wisely and with care.  :)

"Our wise acts accompany us through life to please us and to help us. Just as surely, our unwise acts follow us to plague and torment us. Alas, they cannot be forgotten. In the front rank of the torments that do follow us are the memories of the things we should have done, of the opportunities which came to us and we took not."

Some opportunities do come only once. Grab it while it's hot!

Which Would You Choose - Gold or Wisdom?

"Hear the wild dogs out there in the night. They howl and wail because they are lean with hunger. Yet feed them, and what do they? Fight and strut. Then fight and strut some more, giving no thought to the morrow that will surely come.

Just so it is with the sons of men. Give them a choice of gold and wisdom - what do they do? Ignore the wisdom and waste the gold. On the morrow they wail because they have no more gold.

Gold is reserved for those who know its laws and abide by them."

Very true indeed. Just like the popular quote by Lao Tzu, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." many a times people would choose to wait for someone to give them the fish, rather than learning how to fish. And when it comes to learning how to fish, people would look for shortcuts, quick fixes to help them achieve their purpose.

The truth is, in real life, wealth just don't come easily. There is no shortcut to creating wealth. Wealth comes from the hard knocks that you've been through and survived. Wealth is the result of your thought process in going through the various challenges to gain the necessary wisdom to acquire it, and the necessary wisdom to retain it.

Just as we thought that the wealthy would easily pass on their assets to their children, some of wisest of the wealthy actually did likewise.

In Babylon it is the custom, as you know, that the sons of wealthy fathers live with their parents in expectation of inheriting the estate. Arkad did not approve of this custom. Therefore, when Nomasir reached the man's estate, he sent for the young man and addressed him:

"My son, it is my desire that thout succeed to my estate. Thou must, however, first prove that thou art capable of wisely handling it. Therefore, I wish that thou go out into the world and show thy ability both to acquire gold and to make thyself respected among men."

I guess the truly wise and wealthy people like Arkad do understand the value of their hard earned money. They would rather see money being put to good use than to be wasted upon by their unwise decendants.

"Ten years from this day come thou back to the house of thy father and give account of thyself. If you prove worthy, I will then make thee the heir of my estate. Otherwise, I will give it to the priests that they may barter for my soul the kind considerations of the gods."

Magical People Who Made A Difference

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each one of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." ~ Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Peace Prize Winner.

Have you ever received help, support or guidance from someone just when you needed it the most?

Have you ever experienced being touched by an angel during the darkest hours of your life?

I believe most of us did. And yet, as life goes on, somehow we would tend to forget those times when one person touched us or changed our life for the better. That is when the magic starts to disappear, we slowly get back to our old habits, and finally into another bout of darkness waiting to be rescued once again.

All these can be stopped by practicing gratitude towards the people who have touched your life like an angel. Try these two simple steps:

1. Find a quiet place alone sometime during today, and make a list of three people who made a difference in your life.
2. Work through the list one person at a time, and while talking out loud (as though they were present) tell each person the reason why you're grateful to them, and exactly how they affected the course of your life.

Here's one of my gratitude statements:

Dear Dr Covey, I would like to thank you for being an inspiration to me during the darkest period of my life. Your best selling book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" has been a spiritual compass in guiding me out of darkness. You have taught me about the freedom of choice that I have in choosing my response towards the various stimulus in life. You have taught me about the importance of principles and the effectiveness of inside-out approach in positively changing the outcome of my life. The 7 habits will continue to serve me for many years to come. I can't thank you more for the positive impact and foot prints that you have left in my wonderful life journey. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Dr Covey!

I believe you will feel a huge difference in the way that you feel after you've completed this practice.

For sure I did.  :)

Three Kinds of Investors

There are three types of investors in the world. They are:

1. People who do not invest at all
2. People who invest not to lose
3. People who invest to win

People who do not invest at all expect their family, the company they work for or their government to take care of them once their working days are over.

People who invest not to lose generally invest in what they think are safe investments. This is the vast majority of investors. These people have the saver's mentality when it comes to investing.

People who invest to win are willing to study more, want more control and invest for higher returns.

Interestingly, all three investor types have the potential to become very rich, even those who expect someone else to take care of them. For example, the CEO of Exxon recently retired and was paid nearly half a billion dollars as a going-away present.

Donald and Robert both invest to win. This book is for you if you want to invest to win.

~ Excerpt from the book "Why We Want You to be Rich"

 



And so I'm reading it.  :)

Meet The Goddess of Good Luck

I have once heard this saying: Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. So, is there a way to attract good luck?

In this chapter, the people of Babylon had once gathered at the Temple of Learning to discuss how they can be favoured by the whimsical Goddess of Good Luck. These are the words that caught my attention the most:

To me she is a goddess of love and dignity whose pleasure is to aid those who are in need and to reward those who are deserving. I look to find her, not at the gaming tables or the races where men lose more gold than they win but in other places where the doings of men are more worthwhile and more worthy of reward.

Good luck waits to come to that man who accepts opportunity.

Procrastinator...he accepts not opportunity when she comes. He waits. He says I have much business right now. Bye and bye I talk to you. Opportunity, she will not wait for such slow fellow. She thinks if a man desires to be lucky he will step quick. Any men who not step quick when opportunity comes, he big procrastinator...

The spirit of procrastination is within all men. We desire riches; yet, how often when opportunity doth appear before us, that spirit of procrastination from within doth urge various delays in our acceptance. In listening to it we do become our own worst enemies.

The truth is this: Good luck can be enticed by accepting opportunity.

Those eager to grasp opportunities for their betterment, do attract the interest of the good goddess. She is ever anxious to aid those who please her. Men of action please her best.

MEN OF ACTION ARE FAVORED BY THE GODDESS OF GOOD LUCK.


Just as a gambler's saying - to be able to strike lottery, first you must by your lottery ticket.

P/S: No, I'm not endorsing any forms of gambling.  :)