Measuring Commitment and Motivation

I like this part of the book which talks about how we can measure commitment and motivation.

The author Jim Winner explains:

Many of us are what could be called "good intenders". We set good goals for ourselves, and we "intend" to accomplish them.

What I understand from this statement is that a "good intender" is different from a "good contender".

"Intend" simply means "to have in mind".

"Contend" means "To strive in opposition or against difficulties".

From these definitions, I would say that the difference between "good intenders" and "good contenders" is COMMITMENT.

Business Coach Marshall Goldsmith shared that there are 5 reasons people do not succeed with their diet and fitness goals:

1. Time - they feel that it takes too much of their time than expected
2. Effort - they find that it's harder than expected, and not worth the effort
3. Distractions - "problems" that emerge and give them reasons to not complete the program
4. Rewards - they don't get as much reward and attention as they hoped for
5. Maintenance - they feel it's hard to maintain that success, thus choosing to give up completely

If we were to look into some of the things that we had started but then chosen to give up on, it's exactly the same reasons we didn't succeed.

Again, the way to ensure we accomplish what we have started, is COMMITMENT. To increase the commitment, we have to first increase the motivation.

Motivation is our "motive or reason for action".

Commitment is "the state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action".

Here's a formula for motivation by Bonnie St. John Deane which can serve as an ongoing measure of our commitment:

Most of us use this formula intuitively to help us decide what level of effort we will put into something.

Example:

When we start a new business venture, we expect the payoff to be high, the odds of success to be high, and the amount of work to be reasonable in relation to the payoff. According to the formula, our motivation would be positive and possibly high as well. Thus we get excited and commit to take action. 

Then, as we bump into frustration in the business venture, the potential payoff hasn't changed, but the amount of work required may be exceeding our initial perception. With a few setback coming along the way, we would start to perceive our odds of success to have dropped as well. According to the formula, our motivation would drop, possibly even to the extent of having negative motivation. This is when most people give up or cut down on their commitment to their initial goal of succeeding in the new business venture.

If we understand and buy into this idea about commitment and motivation, then we need to consciously remind ourselves to stay in the Positive Cycle and RE-COMMIT to our dreams, instead of going out LOOKING for a new one and repeat the Negative Cycle. (Read here: http://seed-of-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/01/positive-cycle-vs-negative-cycle.html)

Another thing that I learned from this formula for motivation is that we can always tweak the "numbers" in the formula to help us maintain the positive motivation.

For example, instead of working on a humongously huge goal, why not break it down into smaller achievable goals -- when the goal is smaller, despite the payoff being smaller, the odds of success would increase and the work required would decrease, thus giving us positive motivation.

Personally, understanding how this formula for motivation works has given me a sense of fun in achieving my goals because I can tweak the "numbers" anytime  :)

The 4 Stages of Learning

While reading this book by John Assaraf, I found this to be quite interesting. Learning is something that we experience throughout our life, though sadly to say, for most people, the amount of learning is somehow indirectly proportional to their physical age.

Here are the 4 stages of learning shared in this book:

First stage: Unconscious incompetence

• The state of ignorance, i.e. we don't know what we don't know.

Second stage: Conscious incompetence

• We know and admit that we're incompetent.

Third stage: Conscious competence

• We understand and know how to do something, but it requires a lot of focus and concentration.
• This comes from doing the right things in the right order repeatedly.

Fourth stage: Unconscious competence

• We had so much practice and become so good at the skill that it has become second nature and can be performed effortlessly.

I can easily relate this to my experience in driving. When I was small, I didn't even bother whether I knew how to drive. As I grow older, I realized that I needed to learn how to drive or else I'll be a burden to others. I remembered that on the first day of my driving lesson, it was such hell of an experience that I had so much stress focusing on the road, cars and my instructor. But as time went by, it got easier and easier, and today, I don't even have to remind myself what to do when I step into my car driving to my destination.

If you watch in envy wondering how some people can do something so effortlessly, it is because they have been through the 4 stages of learning. It's impossible for anyone to just jump from the first stage to the fourth stage of learning in a short period of time. As long as you understand this concept, I'm sure one day you can do what those people you envy did too  :)

Perception

Recently, my mentor introduced me to a book by John Assaraf, titled "Having It All: Achieving Your Life's Goals and Dreams". And he insisted that I must read it immediately.

A few pages of reading into the book, I was totally stunned by the brilliance of the contents, and have been so glued to it ever since. For this, I have to really thank my mentor for giving me the sense of urgency to read this book.

Here I would like to share one of the small topics which I find very interesting - about "perception".

I'm sure most of us have seen this famous logo:

What do you see when you look at this logo? I'm sure 100% of you out there who can read alphabets would be able to see the name "FedEx".

Now, apart from the word "FedEx", what else do you see? Some of you may name the colours that you see. Some of you may mention the little "R" symbol behind the "x". But how many of you have ever noticed the "arrow"?

If you can't find it, look carefully at the space between the "E" and the "x". Ah ha!

Now that you know where to look, you'll never fail to see it again.

As John Assaraf explains:

Whether you realize it or not, you saw the arrow all along, because it was there all along. However, you might not have perceived it. Seeing is not the same as perceiving.

In truth, we see the world not as it really is, but only as we really are. Our beliefs and habits act as filters that get the way of truth and possibilities. Our beliefs and habits create mental blind spots that cause us to drop certain visual or sensory input that doesn't match with our "internal map of reality". We talk, act and pretend out of the prejudices of our beliefs. As a result, our beliefs and habits affect our self-esteem, our relationships, our prosperity, our job performance, our mental and physical health, and even the way other people treat us, because people treat us exactly the way we see and treat ourselves.

What does this imply to our real life?

Two individuals who look at the same event, such as the stocks market crashing, may perceive the event differently. One may see it as the world is going to end and he needs to hold tight to all his money in order to survive; whereas, the other may see it as an opportunity to go on a shopping spree for cheap stocks.

Two individuals who look at the same anonymous call coming into their phones. One may perceive it as just another annoying telemarketer calling, and preset himself to say "no" to whatever the caller has to say; whereas, the other may see it as someone calling in to present an opportunity or deal, and prepares himself to listen intently to whatever the caller has to say.

Seeing is not the same as perceiving.

To get the best of perception, the next time you see something, remind yourself, "So this is what I see. Is there anything else that I could possibly have missed?"

The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success

It helps a lot to get things done once I have set my resolution for 2014  :)

To begin with, on the 2nd day of the year, I have finished reading my first book in 2014, in one day! Well, for some of you who are better and faster readers, there's nothing to get excited about. But for me, it is exciting because I don't remember ever finished reading one book in a day.

Even though this may not be a completely new book to me (I have read it once), I find it very useful to revisit this book, because of the story and the lessons that it provides.

This book, titled "The Go-Giver", is about a short and inspiring story about a powerful business idea - a "Trade Secret" which have helped people achieve "Stratospheric Success".

"Stratospheric" means "extremely or unreasonably high". (Source: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/stratospheric)

Here are the 5 Laws of Stratospheric Success:

The First Law: The Law of Value
Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.

"A bad restaurant tries to give just enough food and service, both in quantity and quality, to justify the money it takes from the customer. But a great restaurant strives to defy imagination! Its goal is to provide a higher quality of food and service than any amount of money could possibly pay for."

The Second Law: The Law of Compensation
Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.

"First, it means that you get to determine your level of compensation - it's under your control. If you want more success, find a way to serve more people. It also means there are no limitations on what you can earn, because you can always find more people to serve."

The Third Law: The Law of Influence
Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people's interests first.

"When you base your relationships - in business or anywhere else in life - on who owes who what, that's not being a friend. That's being a creditor. Fifty-fifty's a losing proposition. The only winning proposition is one hundred percent. Make your win about the other person, go after what he wants. Forget win-win - focus on the other person's win."

The Fourth Law: The Law of Authenticity
The most valuable gift you can offer is yourself.

"As long as you're trying to be someone else, or putting on some act or behaviour someone else taught you, you have no possibility of truly reaching people. The most valuable thing you can give people is yourself. No matter what you think you're selling, what you're really offering is you."

The Fifth Law: The Law of Receptivity
The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.

"Because if you don't let yourself receive, you're refusing the gift of others - and you shut down the flow. Every giving can happen only because it is also a receiving."

I find these 5 laws inspiring and enlightening. I hope you feel the same and practice them too  :)

Positive Cycle vs Negative Cycle

As most of us can see for ourselves in the world that we live in, some people have unlimited success and happiness in their lives, while others spend much of their time in misery and mediocrity. Have you ever wondered why?

In this book titled "Split Second Choice - The Power of Attitude", the author Jim Winner explains that, when faced with obstacles in our pursuit of success and happiness:

"...choosing wisely at those split-second points will strongly influence our success in life. Those split-second choices are crucial." ~ Jim Winner

This book also illustrates the different phases that most people would go through in life.

The First Phase: Excitement

• In this phase, we find something that excites us, something that makes us think "This is it - my opportunity to succeed!"
• We start to see the dream - all the possibilities that can happen when we succeed.
• That's when we make the initial commitment to work it out.
• In this phase, all these feelings and dreams are very real, and we tend to see that everything seems to go our way in supporting our beliefs.
• However, maintaining a high level of commitment over the long term is quite challenging, and most people can usually only sustain 3 to 6 months of excitement before the next phase strikes.

The Second Phase: Frustration

• When things continually don't seem to go our way, that's when we get frustrated.
• First, we experience SHOCK. We are shocked at the reality of just how challenging it can be to succeed at it.
• Second, we get into DENIAL. We react defensively to the shock and deny responsibility for the challenging situation that we got into.
• Third, we move into FEAR. We become fearful that we've been trapped and won't be able to escape. Doubts enter our mind and accelerate our attitude towards negative.
• Fourth, our fears lead us into ANGER. In protection of ourselves, we become angry because of the way we feel, and start looking for a target to put the blame on. At this point, if the anger is not channeled correctly, it will throttle us into the NEGATIVE ATTITUDE CYCLE.
• Fifth, we get into JUSTIFICATION mode. We start compiling a list of things to justify our feelings and decision, to justify why I initially made a commitment, and why I'm now backing out.
• Last, we decide and mentally ACCEPT that we are no longer obligated to our initial commitment.
• This is the phase where productivity drops gradually to the lowest point.

The Third Phase: Looking

• We start going out seeking other opportunities which might exist for us.
• We completely reverse our attitude towards the situation. Words like "I was lied to", "things were misinterpreted", "I was made false promises", "it just didn't work out the way I expected", etc. become our vocabulary.
• This continues until we find another thing which excites us, and bring us back into the EXCITEMENT phase.

And the NEGATIVE CYCLE REPEATS...mostly because we have not come to realise that WE are also part of the problem that we face.

"This cycle can be lethal. It can choke the life out of careers, projects, personal commitments, marriages, spiritual growth, financial growth, community work and even your health." ~ Jim Winner

BREAKING THE CYCLE is OUR CHOICE. It goes all the way back to the subphase where we are ANGRY, which we make the right split-second choice.

"The right choice is choosing positively directed anger instead of inwardly or outwardly directed anger. We have to turn our ANGER towards positive solutions to avoid an attitude collision in the outside world." ~ Jim Winner

The Fourth Phase: Recommitment

• We decide that we're not going to blame anyone for our frustrations, but instead, focus on finding a solution to get ourselves back into the EXCITEMENT phase.
• We RE-DREAM THE DREAM, asking ourselves "What was my dream?", "Why did I choose to commit myself?" to think back and re-experience the positive feelings that we had when we first saw the dream.
• We can set SHORT TERM GOALS, goals which we can achieve little by little to spring us back into momentum.
• Then we seek OUTSIDE OPINION from the right people, such as RED-FLAG PARTNERS who know us well ans straighten us when we need it, and MENTORS who have been through the same challenges and have mastered the tasks.

All in all, the NEGATIVE CYCLE makes us weaker and weaker every time we repeat it because we're merely avoiding the challenges; whereas, the POSITIVE CYCLE makes us stronger and stronger every time we repeat it because we have faced and mastered our challenges.

And this is exactly what differentiates those who have unlimited success and happiness from those who live in misery and mediocrity.

THE CHOICE IS YOURS.

A Review of All the Books I Have Read in 2013

Sharing is caring.

For those of you who plan to pick up reading this year, but have no idea where to start, here is a list of books which I have finished reading over the past year, together with some brief information about the books.

Hope this helps.

#1

Category: Fiction / Leadership

About: To be a great leader, one must G.R.O.W.

Why it's good: This is the book which inspired me start writing in this blog.


#2

Category: Non-fiction / Personal Finance / Business

About: The financial and business insights of two highly successful business gurus.
Why it's good: The words from Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki.


#3

Category: Fiction / Personal Finance

About: Success secrets of the riches during the ancient civilization of Babylon.

Why it's good: Timeless principles of wealth which formed the basis of modern finance.

#4

Category: Non-fiction / Spiritual / Self-help

About: The magical power of mindful gratitude.
Why it's good: Highly recommended book for those who need a spiritual boost during down times, a personal life-saver.


#5

Category: Non-fiction / Personal Finance

About: Gresham's Law of Money, 8 symptoms of bad money economics

Why it's good: Impressive, eye-opening facts and figures which are deliberately concealed by most economists.

#6

Category: Non-fiction / Motivation / Self-help

About: The 25 principles of success in life.

Why it's good: By Jack Canfield, one of the greatest and most inspiring teachers of success.


#7

Category: Non-fiction / Communication / Behavioural Science

About: The characteristics and behaviour of the Generation iY.
Why it's good: Learn how to deal with the most misunderstood generation who will dictate the future.


#8

Category: Non-fiction / Self-help / Behavioural Science

About: Reprogramming the mind for success.
Why it's good: Powerful techniques derived from solid neuroscientific studies.


#9

Category: Non-fiction / Leadership

About: The difference between leaders who lead and those who merely manage.

Why it's good: A good reminder that you don't need a title to be a leader.

#10

Category: Non-fiction / Leadership

About: The 5 levels of leadership.
Why it's good: By John Maxwell, one of the greatest teachers of universal leadership principles.


#11

Category: Fiction / Motivation

About: The 10 secret scrolls of success in the marketplace.
Why it's good: The ultimate secret of learning illustrated in the 1st scroll.


#12

Category: Fiction / Spiritual / Inspiration

About: The meaning of time.

Why it's good: Enlightening, deeply touching story.

#13

Category: Non-fiction / Personal Finance / Motivation

About: 17 ways rich people think and act differently from poor and middle-class people.

Why it's good: Paradigm-shifting, easily read and understood, simply applicable even for a novice.

#14

Category: Non-fiction / Business / Marketing

About: The 21 keys to success in referral marketing.

Why it's good: Time-tested and proven principles, not merely theoretical point of views.

#15

Category: Non-fiction / Self-help / Motivation

About: Making split second choice with the right attitude to break away from a negative cycle and move into a positive cycle.

Why it's good: Can be easily related to our personal experience of being in a negative or positive cycle. 

There are a few more books which I haven't finished reading in 2013, and will continue to read in 2014. Stay tuned  :)


ENJOY YOUR READING !!!

The Common Denominator of Success by Albert E.N. Gray

Title: The Common Denominator of Success
By: Albert E.N. Gray
Full article: http://www.amnesta.net/mba/thecommondenominatorofsuccess-albertengray.pdf

Excerpt from the full article:

"The common denominator of success --- the secret of success of every man who has ever been successful --- lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don't like to do."

Several years ago I was brought face to face with the very disturbing realization that I was trying to supervise and direct the efforts of a large number of men who were trying to achieve success, without knowing myself what the secret of success really was. And that, naturally, brought me face to face with the further realization that regardless of what other knowledge I might have brought to my job, I was definitely lacking in the most important knowledge of all.

Of course, like most of us, I had been brought up on the popular belief that the secret of success is hard work, but I had seen so many men work hard without succeeding and so many men succeed without working hard that I had become convinced that hard work was not the real secret even though in most cases it might be one of the requirements.

And so I set out on a voyage of discovery which carried me through biographies and autobiographies and all sorts of dissertations on success and the lives of successful men until I finally reached a point at which I realized that the secret I was trying to discover lay not only in what men did, but also in what made them do it.

I realized further that the secret for which I was searching must not only apply to every definition of success, but since it must apply to everyone to whom it was offered, it must also apply to everyone who had ever been successful. In short, I was looking for the common denominator of success. And because that is exactly what I was looking for, that is exactly what I found. But this common denominator of success is so big, so powerful, and so vitally important to your future and mine that I'm not going to make a speech about it. I'm just going to "lay it on the line" in words of one syllable, so simple that everyone can understand them.

The common denominator of success --- the secret of success of every man who has ever been successful --- lies in the fact that he formed the habit of doing things that failures don't like to do.

It's just as true as it sounds and it's just as simple as it seems. You can hold it up to the light, you can put it to the acid test, and you can kick it around until it's worn out, but when you are all through with it, it will still be the common denominator of success, whether you like it or not.

It will still explain why men have come into this business of ours with every apparent qualification for success and given us our most disappointing failures, while others have come in and achieved outstanding success in spite of many obvious and discouraging handicaps. And since it will also explain your future, it would seem to be a mighty good idea for you to use it in determining just what sort of a future you are going to have. In other words, let's take this big, all-embracing secret and boil it down to fit the individual you.

If the secret of success lies in forming the habit of doing things that failures don't like to do, let's start the boiling-down process by determining what are the things that failures don't like to do. The things that failures don't like to do are the very things that you and I and other human beings, including successful men, naturally don't like to do. In other words, we've got to realize right from the start that success is something which is achieved by the minority of men, and is therefore unnatural and not to be achieved by following our natural likes and dislikes nor by being guided by our natural preferences and prejudices.

The things that failures don't like to do, in general, are too obvious for us to discuss them here, and so, since our success is to be achieved in the sale of life insurance, let us move on to a discussion of the things that we as life insurance men don't like to do. Here, too, the things we don't like to do are too many to permit specific discussion, but I think they can all be disposed of by saying that they all emanate from one basic dislike peculiar to our type of selling. We don't like to call on people who don't want to see us and talk to them about something they don't want to talk about. Any reluctance to follow a definite prospecting program, to use prepared sales talks, to organize time and to organize effort are all caused by this one basic dislike. 

Perhaps you have wondered what is behind this peculiar lack of welcome on the part of our prospective buyers. Isn't it due to the fact that our prospects are human too? And isn't it true that the average human being is not big enough to buy life insurance of his own accord and is therefore prone to escape our efforts to make him bigger or persuade him to do something he doesn't want to do by striking at the most important weakness we possess: namely, our desire to be appreciated? Perhaps you have been discouraged by a feeling that you were born subject to certain dislikes peculiar to you, with which the successful men in our business are not afflicted. 

Perhaps you have wondered why it is that our biggest producers seem to like to do the things that you don't like to do. 

They don't! And I think this is the most encouraging statement I have ever offered to a group of life insurance salesmen. 

But if they don't like to do these things, then why do they do them? Because by doing the things they don't like to do, they can accomplish the things they want to accomplish. Successful men are influenced by the desire for pleasing results. Failures are influenced by the desire for pleasing methods and are inclined to be satisfied with such results as can be obtained by doing things they like to do. 

Why are successful men able to do things they don't like to do while failures are not? Because successful men have a purpose strong enough to make them form the habit of doing things they don't like to do in order to accomplish the purpose they want to accomplish. 

Sometimes even our best producers get into a slump. When a man goes into a slump, it simply means that he has reached a point at which, for the time being, the things he doesn't like to do have become more important than his reasons for doing them. And may I pause to suggest to you managers and general agents that when one of your good producers goes into a slump, the less you talk about his production and the more you talk about his purpose, the sooner you will pull him out of his slump? 

Many men with whom I have discussed this common denominator of success have said at this point, "But I have a family to support and I have to have a living for my family and myself. Isn't that enough of a purpose?" 

No, it isn't. It isn't a sufficiently strong purpose to make you form the habit of doing the things you don't like to do for the very simple reasons that it is easier to adjust ourselves to the hardships of a poor living than it is to adjust ourselves to the hardships of making a better one. If you doubt me, just think of all the things you are willing to go without in order to avoid doing the things you don't like to do. All of which seems to prove that the strength which holds you to your purpose is not your own strength but the strength of the purpose itself.

What Can Stop You?

"If you're going to let a three-hour drive or a three-hour flight or a three-day trek stop you from doing something you need and want to do, then what else will stop you? Here's the easy answer: anything! Anything will stop you. Not because of the size of the challenge but because of the size of you!

Either you are a person who will be stopped, or you are a person who won't be stopped. You choose. If you want to create wealth or any other kind of success, you have to be a warrior. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes. You have to 'train' yourself to not be stopped by anything.

Getting rich is not always convenient. Getting rich is not always easy. In fact, getting rich can be pretty damn hard. But so what? One of the key enlightened warrior principles states, 'If you are willing to do only what's easy, life will be hard. But if you are willing to do what's hard, life will be easy.' Rich people don't base their actions on what's easy and convenient; that way of living is reserved for the poor and most of the middle class."

~ T. Harv Eker, "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind"

What we want in life is always outside of our comfort zone. Why? Because if it's in our comfort zone, we would already HAVE IT, instead of WANT IT.

The pathway to success already come with its fair share of obstacles. But most of the times, people still keep adding more "obstacles" in front of them, in the form of "excuses" and "convenience". How do you achieve success if the "obstacles" keep increasing?

"Everything is uncomfortable in the beginning, but if you stick with it and continue, you will eventually move through the uncomfort zone and succeed. Then you will have a new, expanded comfort zone, which means you will have become a 'bigger' person.

The only time when you are actually growing is when you are uncomfortable."

 ~ T. Harv Eker, "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind"

Are you willing to get uncomfortable?

How Much Money Can You Handle?

"Imagine you're walking along the street with a five-year-old. You come across an ice cream store and go inside. You get the child a single scoop of ice cream on a cone because they don't have any cups. As the two of you walk outside, you notice the cone wobbling in the child's tiny hands and, all of a sudden, plop. The ice cream falls out of the cone onto the pavement.

The child begins to cry. So back you go into the store, and just as you're about to order for the second time, the child notices a colourful sign with a picture of the 'triple scooper' cone. The child points to the picture and excitedly screams, 'I want that one!'

Now here's the question. Being the kind, loving, and generous person that you are, would you go ahead and get this child the triple scooper? Your initial response might be 'sure'. However, when considering the question a little more deeply, most of our seminar participants respond, 'No'. Because why would you want to set the child up to fail? The child couldn't even handle a single scoop, how could the child possibly handle a triple scoop?"

~ T. Harv Eker, "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" 

If you were to play the role of the God of Prosperity, and your job is to give money and prosperity to those who deserve it, would you give it to an inexperienced "five-year-old child" who would most likely mismanage and waste it? Or would you rather give it to an experienced "grown up" who would most likely make good use of it?

I'm sure you would give it to the experienced "grown up".

And that's the point!

Life works in exactly the same way. When we have proven through obstacles that we can handle success, success will come naturally into our life. If success comes prematurely, sooner or later it will "fall off from our cone" in our wobbling hands.

"Until you show you can handle what you've got, you won't get any more." ~ T. Harv Eker

If you want success, take action and start growing up!

Never Again Will I Pity or Belittle Myself

Last month I completed my practice of the ten scrolls in The Greatest Salesman in the World. It has helped me tremendously throughout the past 10 months of my journey towards my goal.

Thanks to my business partner who gave me this book "The Greatest Salesman in the World - Part 2", now I am going to practice "the Ten Vows of Success" for the coming 10 months of my journey towards my goal!

Here are some of the inspirational quotes from the First Vow of Success:

Never again will I pity or belittle myself.

How foolish I was when I stood in despair, by the side of the road, and envied the successful and the wealthy as they paraded by. Are they blessed with unique skills, rare intelligence, heroic courage, enduring ambition, and other outstanding qualities that I possess not? Have they been allotted more hours, each day, in which to perform their mighty tasks? Do they have hearts full of compassion and souls overflowing with love that are different from mine? No! God plays no favorites. We were all fashioned from the same clay.

Now I also know that the sadness and setbacks of my life are not unique to me. Even the wisest and most successful of our world suffer chapters of heartbreak and failure but they, unlike me, have learned that there is no peace without trouble, no rest without strain, no laughter without sorrow, no victory without struggle and that is the price we all pay for living. There was a time when I paid the price willingly and easily but constant disappointments and defeats first eroded my confidence and then my courage even as drops of water will, in time, destroy the strongest granite. All that is now behind me. No longer am I one of the living dead, remaining always in the shadows of others and hiding behind my sorry apologies and alibis while the years waste away.

Never again will I pity or belittle myself.

Success, when it comes overnight, often departs with the dawn. I am prepared, now, or a lifetime of happiness because I have finally recognized a powerful secret hidden in the years that treated me so harshly. Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery we make of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterward carefully avoid. The path I walked, often dampened by my tears, has not been a wasted journey.

Never again will I pity or belittle myself.

I am on the right path to succeed! I'm going for GOLD!

Are You An Excellent Receiver?

To become wealthy, you need to make money; to make money, you need to receive money from others.
Which means, if you want to be wealthy, you need to be an excellent receiver of money.

Some people complain of being poor, and they despise those who make lots of money for being greedy.

Some people choose to stay poor, because they believe money will make them evil.

If you're one of those people, or you happen to know of people who have such thoughts, you may want to look into these alternative references. Here are some important points taken from this book:

Rich people are excellent receivers. Poor people are poor receivers.

People are challenged by receiving for several reasons. First, many people feel unworthy or undeserving due to the conditioning of their social environment. Second, most people bought into the adage "It's better to give than to receive."

For most people, the conditioning of punishment is so ingrained that, because there's no one around to punish them, they when make mistake or just aren't perfect, they subconsciously punish themselves. When they were young, the punishment might have come in the form of "You were bad, so no candy." Today, however, it could take the form of "You were bad, so no money."

What's better, hot or cold, big or small, left or right, in or out? Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Whoever decided that it is better to give than to receive was simply bad at math. For every giver there must be a receiver, for every receiver there must be a giver. How could you give if there weren't someone there to receive?

How does it feel to give? Wonderful and fulfilling. Conversely, how does it feel when you want to give and the other person isn't willing to receive? Terrible. If you are not willing to receive, then you are "ripping off" those who want to give to you.

If you're not willing to receive your share, it will go to someone else who is. That's one of the reasons the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Not because they're any more worthy, but because they are willing to receive while most poor people are not.

Rich people work hard and believe it's perfectly appropriate to be well rewarded for their efforts and the value they provide for others. Poor people work hard, but due to their feeling of unworthiness, they believe that it is inappropriate for them to be well rewarded for their efforts and the value they provide.

Get really rich and then help people who don't have the opportunity you did. That makes a lot more sense than being broke and helping no one.

Money will only make you more of what you already are. If you're mean, money will afford you the opportunity to be meaner. If you're kind, money will afford you the opportunity to be kinder. If you're a jerk at heart, with money you can be jerkier. If you're generous, more money will simply allow you to be more generous.

How you do anything is how you do everything. If you're a poor receiver, you're a poor receiver in all areas. When you become an excellent receiver, you'll become an excellent receiver everywhere.

If you're not good at receiving, don't even dare think of becoming good at giving, because you have nothing much else to give.

How Big is the Size of You?

I once heard a saying, "Every living thing in this world has problems. The only ones without problems are the ones living six feet under."

Looking back at the days when you were a little child, were the problems you faced back then still bothering you today? Most likely not. Because you have grown up. Because you have grown bigger than the problems that you faced back then.

If you still find there are some problems you faced back then that still bother you today, that means you haven't grown enough in that particular aspect of life.

The same thing actually applies to the financial aspect of our life. Here are some important points which T. Harv Eker has shared in his book:

Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems.

Poor people will do almost anything to avoid problems. They see a challenge and they run. The irony is that in their quest to make sure they don't have problems, they have the biggest problem of all...they're broke and miserable.

The secret of success is not to try to avoid or get rid of or shrink from your problems; the secret is to grow yourself so that you are bigger than any problem.

If you have a big problem in your life, all that means is that you are being a small person! Don't be fooled by appearances. Your outer world is merely a reflection of your inner world. If you want to make a permanent change, stop focusing on the size of your problems and start focusing on the size of you!

The bigger the problems you can handle, the bigger the business you can handle; the bigger the responsibility you can handle, the more employees you can handle; the more customers you can handle, the more money you can handle, and ultimately, the more wealth you can handle.

Think of yourself as your container for wealth. If your container is small and your money is big, what's going to happen? You will lose it. Your container will overflow and the excess money will spill out all over the place. You simply cannot have more money than the container. Therefore you must grow to be a big container so you cannot only hold more wealth but also attract more wealth. The universe abhors a vacuum and if you have a very large money container, it will rush in to fill the space.

Rich and successful people are solution-oriented; they spend their time and energy strategizing and planning the answers to challenges that come up, and creating systems to make certain that problem doesn't occur again.

Poor and unsuccessful people are problem-oriented. They spend their time and energy bitching and complaining and seldom come up with anything creative to alleviate the problem, let alone make sure it doesn't happen again.

If you're complaining about not being financially wealthy, ask yourself first, how big is the size of you? Are you big enough to handle the money that is entrusted to you?

Selling and Promotion

Many people have the tendency of mistaking promoting their value for blowing their own trumpet. When others praise them for something good they have done, the most common response given is, "Nah...I'm just normal lah...(with a shy look)". Honestly, I have also been guilty at times for doing so.

But imagine if you were to praise a customer service officer for something good they had done, and the person replied, "Nah...we're just normal lah...(with a shy look)", what would you think?

My point here is that, while it's important to stay humble all the time, we must also know how to accept praise and be proud of the good qualities that we have. All you need is just to say, "Thank you. I'll take that as a compliment and encouragement to improve further."

Why exactly do we have to change and adopt this new behaviour? Here are some of the perspective offered in this book:

Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their value. Poor people think negatively about selling and promotion.

Resenting promotion is one of the greatest obstacles to success. People who have issues with selling and promotion are usually broke.

People have a problem with promotion or sales for several reasons. First, you may have had a bad experience in the past with people promoting to you inappropriately. Second, you may have had a disempowering experience when you tried to sell something to someone and that person totally rejected you. Third, you issue might come from past parental programming, where many were told that it's impolite to "toot your own horn". Finally, some people feel that if others want what they have, those people should somehow find and come to them.

There's a huge difference between a best-selling author and a best-writing author. One pays a lot more than the other.

Rich people are usually leaders, and all great leaders are great promoters. They are adept at selling, inspiring, and motivating people to buy into their vision.

The critical point isn't whether you like to promote or not, it is why you're promoting. Do you really believe in the product or service you're offering? Do you really believe that what you have will be of benefit to whomever you're promoting it to?

People who have a problem with promotion don't fully believe in their product or don't fully believe in themselves. If you believe that what you have to offer can truly assist people, it's your duty to let as many people as possible know about it.

It's a matter of perspective. One leads you to wealth. One leads you to obscurity. Choose whichever serves you better  :)

The Power Association

I remember when I was small, my parents would ensure that I study hard and get good grades in school every year...but why? They said, "So that you can get into a good school/class and mingle around with students who are keen to study hard." And so I did, and I became a student who studied hard.

Disclaimer:

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not implying that students who study hard are good, and students who don't study hard are bad. In fact, nowadays I would question the purpose and objective of our education system, and I would empathize with people who are excellent learners but just simply don't fit into our current education system and ended up being labelled as bad students.

After reading this book, now I finally understand why my parents had pressured me so hard in my studies. That's because they understood the power of association.

Here are some excerpt which I find very interesting:

Rich people associate with positive, successful people. Poor people associate with negative or unsuccessful people.

Successful people look at other successful people as a means of motivation and model to learn from, because modeling is one of the primary ways that people learn. Rich people are grateful that others have succeeded before them so that they now have a blueprint to follow that will make it easier for them to attain their own success.

The fastest and easiest way to create wealth is to learn exactly how rich people play the game. If you take the exact same actions and have the exact same mindset, chances are good you will get the exact same results.

When poor people hear about other people's success, they often judge them, criticize them, mock them, and try to pull them down to their own level.

Don't bother trying to get negative people to change. That's not your job. Your job is to use what you've learned to better yourself and your life. Be the model, be successful, be happy, then maybe they'll see the light (in you) and want some of it. If they choose to ask you your secret, tell them.

Just as steel is hardened in the fire, if you can remain true to your values while others around you are full of doubt and even condemnation, you'll grow faster and stronger.

Practice reframing other people's negativity as a reminder of how not to be. The more negative they are, the more reminders you get about how ugly that way of being really is. If you do begin to judge, criticize, and put them down for who they are and what they do, then you are no better than them.

You may have to make some courageous decisions about who you are and how you want to live the rest of your life. I for one would never live with a person who was negative and pooh-poohed my desire to learn and grow, be it personally, spiritually, or financially. I wouldn't do that to myself because I respect myself and my life and I deserve to be as happy and successful as possible. Either they move up or I move on!

"Birds of a feather flock together." Did you know that most people earn within 20% of the average income of their closest friends? That's why you'd better watch whom you associate with and choose whom you spend your time with carefully.

If you want to fly with the eagles, don't swim with the ducks.

Rich people hang around with winners. Poor people hang around with losers. Why? It's a matter of comfort. Rich people are comfortable with other successful people. They feel fully worthy of being with them. Poor people are uncomfortable with highly successful people. They're either afraid they'll be rejected or feel as if they don't belong. To protect itself, the ego then goes into judgement and criticism.

There is no statistics proof for the above claims. To me, these are common sense which are just uncommon to most people.

These two words "rich" and "success" are also very subjective terms. That's why it's up to you to define what do these two words mean to you, and what are the kind of association that you would be looking for.

Opportunities vs Obstacles

There's always a saying, "With opportunities come obstacles." And vice versa.

What you choose to focus on will determine you level achievement financially. Just as mentioned in this book.

Rich people focus on opportunities. Poor people focus on obstacles.

Poor people make choices based upon fear. Their minds are constantly scanning for what is wrong or could go wrong in any situation. Their primary mindset is "What if it doesn't work?" or, more often, "It won't work."

Middle-class people are slightly more optimistic. Their mindset is "I sure hope this works."

Rich people take responsibility for the results in their lives and act upon the mindset "It will work because I'll make it work."

Rich people expect to succeed. They believe that, if worse comes to worst, they can always make their money back.

Poor people expect to fail. Because they constantly see obstacles, they are usually unwilling to take a risk. No risk, no reward.

Rich people take educated risks. They research, do their due diligence, and make decisions based on solid information and facts.

Although poor people claim to be preparing for an opportunity, what they're usually doing is stalling. They're scared to death, hemming and hawing for weeks, months or even years on end, and by then the opportunity usually disappears.

"Action always beats inaction." Rich people get started. They trust that once they get in the game, they can make intelligent decisions in the present moment, make corrections, and adjust their sails along the way.

Poor people don't trust in their abilities, so they believe they have to know everything in advance, which is virtually impossible.

To become rich is basically a choice. It means you'll choose to say "It will work because I'll make it work." It means you'll take educated risks by making decisions based on solid information and facts instead of hearsay. It means you'll take action. "Ready, fire, aim."

If you want to be rich, the good news is it's a choice; The bad news is it's a choice.  :)

Think Big vs Think Small

What is the difference between people who think big and people who think small?
Their value in the marketplace.

Here are more interesting reads from T, Harv Eker:

Rich people think big. Poor people think small.

The Law of Income: You will be paid in direct proportion to the value you deliver according to the marketplace.

Four factors determine your value in the marketplace: supply, demand, quality, and quantity. The factor that presents the biggest challenge for most people is the quantity. The quantity factor simply means, how much of value do you actually deliver to the marketplace? How many people do you actually serve or affect?

Most people choose to play small. Why? First, because of fear. They're scared of failure and they're even more frightened of success. Second, because they feel small. They feel unworthy. They don't feel they're good enough or important enough to make a real difference in people's lives.

The definition of an entrepreneur is "a person who solves problems for people at a profit."

The by-product is that the more people you help, the "richer" you become, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

And I personally like this quote the most:

"You're a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson

 Our networth is in direct proportion to the number of people we serve. Learn how to serve better

Playing to Win vs Playing Not to Lose

I was reading this awesome book "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" by T Harv Eker, and found the following ideas very meaningful:

If you were to play any sport or any game strictly on defense, what are the chances of your winning the game? Very slim or none.

Most people's primary concern is survival and security instead of creating wealth and abundance.

The goal of truly rich people is to have massive wealth and abundance. The big goal of poor people is to "have enough to pay the bills and on time". While the middle-class people just want to be comfortable. 

If your goal is to be comfortable, chances are you'll never get rich. But if your goal is to be rich, chances are you'll end up mighty comfortable.

Rich people are committed to being rich. Poor people want to be rich.

The number one reason most people don't get what they want is that they don't know what they want.

Rich people are totally clear that they want wealth. As long as it's legal, moral and ethical, they will do whatever it takes to have wealth. Rich people do not send mixed messages to the universe.

Poor people have plenty of good reasons as to why getting and actually being rich might be a problem. They are not 100% certain they want to be rich. Their message to the universe is confusing.

If you are not fully, totally and truly committed to creating wealth, chances are you won't.

Are you the sort of people playing to win? Or are you the sort of people playing not to lose?

I'm looking for winners!

The Meaning of Time

What happens when humans start to measure time?

Some people pray for time to move slower...

Some people pray for time to move faster...

That is when time starts to lose it's meaning.

In this brilliant book "The Time Keeper", Mitch Albom (one of my favourite authors) wrote about the story of two fictional characters who were caught in these two scenarios, and the journey they went through to discover the true meaning of time. It has definitely touched my heart and mind.

Here are some of the meaningful quotes found in this book:

Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. an alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.

It is never too late or too soon. It is when it is supposed to be.

With endless time, nothing is special. With no loss or sacrifice, we can’t appreciate what we have.

There is a reason God limits our days..to make each one precious.

Knowing something and understanding it were not the same thing.

As mankind grew obsessed with its hours, the sorrow of lost time became a permanent hole in the human heart. People fretted over missed chances, over inefficient days; they worried constantly about how long they would live, because counting life’s moments had led, inevitably, to counting them down. Soon, in every nation and in every language, time became the most precious commodity.

Mankind is connected in ways it does not understand - even in dreams.

Everything man does today to be efficient, to fill the hour? It does not satisfy. It only makes him hungry to do more. Man wants to own his existence. But no one owns time. When you are measuring life, you are not living it.

Consider the word “time.” We use so many phrases with it. Pass time. Waste time. Kill time. Lose time. In good time. About time. Take your time. Save time. A long time. Right on time. Out of time. Mind the time. Be on time. Spare time. Keep time. Stall for time. There are as many expressions with “time” as there are minutes in a day. But once, there was no word for it at all. Because no one was counting. Then Dor began. And everything changed.

Time is a very precious commodity. Spend it wisely on matters which matter the most to you.

The Scroll Marked X

Oh creator of all things, help me. For this day I go out into the world naked and alone, and without your hand to guide me I will wander far from the path which leads to success and happiness.

I ask not for gold or garments or even opportunities equal to my ability; instead, guide me so that I may acquire ability equal to my opportunities.

You have taught the lion and the eagle how to hunt and prosper with teeth and claw. Teach me how to hunt with words and prosper with love so that I may be a lion among men and an eagle in the market place.

Help me to remain humble through obstacles and failures; yet hide not from mine eyes the prize that will come with victory.

Assign me with tasks to which others have failed; yet guide me to pluck the seeds of success from their failures. Confront me with fears that will temper my spirit; yet endow me with courage to laugh at my misgivings.

Spare me sufficient days to reach my goals; yet help me to live this day as though it be my last.

Guide me in my words that they may bear fruit; yet silence me from gossip that none be maligned.

Discipline me in the habit of trying and trying again; yet show me the way to make use of the law of averages. Favor me with alertness to recognize opportunity; yet endow me with patience which will concentrate my strength.

Bathe me in good habits that the bad ones may drown; yet grant me compassion for weaknesses in others. Suffer me to know that all things shall pass; yet help me to count my blessings of today.

Expose me to hate so it not be a stranger; yet fill my cup with love to turn strangers into friends.

But all these things be only if thy will. I am a small and a lonely grape clutching the vine yet thou hast made me different from all others. Verily, there must be a special place for me. Guide me. Help me. Show me the way.

Let me become all you planned for me when my seed was planted and selected by you to sprout in the vineyard of the world.

Help this humble salesman.

Guide me, God. 

 ~ Og Mandino

I Will Act Now

I have followed each and every practice recommended in this book "The Greatest Salesman in the World" by Og Mandino for the past 8 months. Now, I have reached "The Scroll Marked IX" in this critical period of my life, and I was so amazed by how relevant it is to me!

I hope you get inspired by these lines as well!

My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust, my goals are impossible.

All are of no value unless they are followed by action.

I will act now.

Never has there been a map, however carefully executed to detail and scale, which carried its owner over even one inch of ground. Never has there been a parchment of law, however fair, which prevented one crime. Never has there been a scroll, even such as the one I hold, which earned so much as a penny or produced a single word of acclamation. Action, alone, is the tinder which ignites the map, the parchment, this scroll, my dreams, my plans, my goals, into a living force. Action is the food and drink which will nourish my success.

I will act now.

My procrastination which has held me back was born of fear and now I recognize this secret mined from the depths of all courageous hearts. Now I know that to conquer fear I must always act without hesitation and the flutters in my heart will vanish. Now I know that action reduces the lion of terror to an ant of equanimity.

I will act now.

Henceforth, I will remember the lesson of the firefly who gives off its light only when it is on the wing, only when it is in action. I will become a firefly and even in the day my glow will be seen in spite of the sun. Let others be as butterflies who preen their wings yet depend on the charity of a flower for life. I will be as the firefly and my light will brighten the world.

I will act now.

When the lion is hungry he eats. When the eagle has thirst he drinks. Lest they act, both will perish.

I hunger for success. I thirst for happiness and peace of mind. Lest I act I will perish in a life of failure, misery, and sleepless nights.

Success will not wait. If I delay she will become betrothed to another and lost to me forever.

This is the time. This is the place. I am the man.

I will act now.

~ Og Mandino 

 Life is short. Cherish the time you have. Take ACTION to achieve your goals and dreams!