Positive Cycle vs Negative Cycle

As most of us can see for ourselves in the world that we live in, some people have unlimited success and happiness in their lives, while others spend much of their time in misery and mediocrity. Have you ever wondered why?

In this book titled "Split Second Choice - The Power of Attitude", the author Jim Winner explains that, when faced with obstacles in our pursuit of success and happiness:

"...choosing wisely at those split-second points will strongly influence our success in life. Those split-second choices are crucial." ~ Jim Winner

This book also illustrates the different phases that most people would go through in life.

The First Phase: Excitement

• In this phase, we find something that excites us, something that makes us think "This is it - my opportunity to succeed!"
• We start to see the dream - all the possibilities that can happen when we succeed.
• That's when we make the initial commitment to work it out.
• In this phase, all these feelings and dreams are very real, and we tend to see that everything seems to go our way in supporting our beliefs.
• However, maintaining a high level of commitment over the long term is quite challenging, and most people can usually only sustain 3 to 6 months of excitement before the next phase strikes.

The Second Phase: Frustration

• When things continually don't seem to go our way, that's when we get frustrated.
• First, we experience SHOCK. We are shocked at the reality of just how challenging it can be to succeed at it.
• Second, we get into DENIAL. We react defensively to the shock and deny responsibility for the challenging situation that we got into.
• Third, we move into FEAR. We become fearful that we've been trapped and won't be able to escape. Doubts enter our mind and accelerate our attitude towards negative.
• Fourth, our fears lead us into ANGER. In protection of ourselves, we become angry because of the way we feel, and start looking for a target to put the blame on. At this point, if the anger is not channeled correctly, it will throttle us into the NEGATIVE ATTITUDE CYCLE.
• Fifth, we get into JUSTIFICATION mode. We start compiling a list of things to justify our feelings and decision, to justify why I initially made a commitment, and why I'm now backing out.
• Last, we decide and mentally ACCEPT that we are no longer obligated to our initial commitment.
• This is the phase where productivity drops gradually to the lowest point.

The Third Phase: Looking

• We start going out seeking other opportunities which might exist for us.
• We completely reverse our attitude towards the situation. Words like "I was lied to", "things were misinterpreted", "I was made false promises", "it just didn't work out the way I expected", etc. become our vocabulary.
• This continues until we find another thing which excites us, and bring us back into the EXCITEMENT phase.

And the NEGATIVE CYCLE REPEATS...mostly because we have not come to realise that WE are also part of the problem that we face.

"This cycle can be lethal. It can choke the life out of careers, projects, personal commitments, marriages, spiritual growth, financial growth, community work and even your health." ~ Jim Winner

BREAKING THE CYCLE is OUR CHOICE. It goes all the way back to the subphase where we are ANGRY, which we make the right split-second choice.

"The right choice is choosing positively directed anger instead of inwardly or outwardly directed anger. We have to turn our ANGER towards positive solutions to avoid an attitude collision in the outside world." ~ Jim Winner

The Fourth Phase: Recommitment

• We decide that we're not going to blame anyone for our frustrations, but instead, focus on finding a solution to get ourselves back into the EXCITEMENT phase.
• We RE-DREAM THE DREAM, asking ourselves "What was my dream?", "Why did I choose to commit myself?" to think back and re-experience the positive feelings that we had when we first saw the dream.
• We can set SHORT TERM GOALS, goals which we can achieve little by little to spring us back into momentum.
• Then we seek OUTSIDE OPINION from the right people, such as RED-FLAG PARTNERS who know us well ans straighten us when we need it, and MENTORS who have been through the same challenges and have mastered the tasks.

All in all, the NEGATIVE CYCLE makes us weaker and weaker every time we repeat it because we're merely avoiding the challenges; whereas, the POSITIVE CYCLE makes us stronger and stronger every time we repeat it because we have faced and mastered our challenges.

And this is exactly what differentiates those who have unlimited success and happiness from those who live in misery and mediocrity.

THE CHOICE IS YOURS.