SMILE !

This interesting video tells about how smiling can be beneficial to us.

Ron Gutman: The hidden power of smiling

How well you smile determines how fulfilling and long lasting your marriage will be.

How sincere you smile determines how successful you will be.

The span of your smile could determine the span of your life.

Humans are born smiling. Babies start smiling in the womb, and continue to smile during their sleep. Even blind babies smile to the sound of the human voice.

Even humans living in tribes disconnected from western culture, and also known for their cannibalism culture, would smile under circumstance that people like us would.

It's very difficult to frown to someone who smile. Why? Because smile is evolutionarily contagious, and it suppresses the control we have on our facial muscles.

Mimicking a smile and experiencing it physically would help us understand whether a smile is fake or real, so that we can understand the emotional state of the smiler.

"Even the simulation of an emotion tends to arouse it in our minds." ~ Charles Darwin.

Research has shown that one smile can generate the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 bars of chocolates. The same study found that smiling is as stimulating as receiving up to £16,000 cash.

Smiling can help reduce the level of stress enhancing hormones like cortisol, adrenaline and dopamine, increase the level of mood enhancing hormones like endorphine, and reduce overall blood pressure.

Smiling can make you look good in the eyes of others. Research has found that when you smile you not only appear to be more likeable and courteous, but you actually appear to be more competent.

"I will never understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish." ~ Mother Teresa

If you want to enjoy all the above...

SMILE!

Get More Sleep to Succeed?

The way to get more productive, more inspired, more joyful life, is getting enough sleep.

A high IQ doesn't mean you're a good leader. Because the essence of leadership is being able to see the ice berg before it hits the Titanic.

I need to get more sleep to be a more effective leader  :)

Arianna Huffington: How to succeed? Get more sleep

The Whole Health Cairn

Patients would get better from one symptom, and if we didn't treat the root cause, why they had that physical symptom in the first place, they just wound up getting a new symptom.

What really makes our body healthy? What really makes us sick?

What really matters to our health is...

• having healthy relationships
• having healthy professional lives
• expressing yourself creatively
• being spiritually connected
• having healthy sex life
• being healthy financially
• living in a healthy environment
• being mentally healthy
• having a healthy body

Your inner pilot light is that part of you, it's that esssence, that authentic deep true part of you, that spiritual divine spark that always know what's right for you. You're born it, it goes with you when you die, and it always know the truth about you and your body. It comes to you in whispers. It's you intuition. It's that beautiful part of you. It's your biggest fan, the part that writes you love letters. And that is the biggest healer you can tap into, better than any medicine, better than any doctor.

Find out more about "The Whole Health Cairn" from this video.

TEDxFiDiWomen - Lissa Rankin - The Shocking Truth About Your Health

3 Bold Steps to Transform Fantasy to Reality

"A solitary fantasy can transform a million realities." ~ Maya Angelou

What dream or vision do you want to turn into reality?

Watch this fantastic short video about the 3 bold steps you can take to transform fantasy into reality..

 

TEDxRainier - Patti Dobrowolski - Draw Your Future

Here are some quotes taken from the video:

You talk about your dream to your partner and your friends, but more often than not, you continue to do those same behaviours that keep you from making the change.

Research shows that the odds of you making a change in your life - 9 to 1. Even if you're facing a life threatening illness.

You can live the life you desire. It's right there in front of you. But in order to achieve it, you must first see it, then believe it, and then you must graciously ask and train your brain, to help you execute your vision.

How do we see our vision? Through picture. A picture can create movements. A picture can unite nations. A picture can pull at your heart, and fill you with a deep desire to do something.

We remember things better when they are attached to a picture, 65% better to be exact.

The left side of your brain, as you know, houses the critique, who is forever trying to keep you safe from harm, make sure you don't do anything dangerous or stupid.

Using your imagination activates the right side of your brain, which makes you creative and filled with possibilities.

You get the most power when you paint your own picture. You need to soak it in. You have to fill it with colour. You have to fill it with emotion. You have to get inside of it, as if you're on the inside looking out.

All you have to do is look at the picture, and close your eyes. This allows the brain to recycle whatever it sees, and reconstruct it, add to it everything you ever seen, heard, experienced or fantasized about. And then it will serve you up with the best possible solution. 

What's the boldest thing you can do to get from where you are to where you want to be? 

See it.  Believe it.  Act on it.

Start drawing your future now!

10 Minutes of Mindfulness A Day

Just 10 minutes a day to make our lives better. I'll try this!

 

 

Andy Puddicombe: All it takes is 10 mindful minutes

Some quotes taken from this video:

We live in an incredibly busy world. The pace of life is often frantic, our mind is always busy, and we're always doing something.

When did you last take any time to do nothing?

Our mind is our most valuable and precious resource which we experience every single moment of our life...and yet we don't take any time off to take good care of it.

The sad fact is that we are so distracted that we no longer present in the world in which we live, we miss out on the things that are most important to us.

There was a research paper that came out of Harvard recently. It said on average our minds are lost in thought almost 47% of the time. At the same time, the mind wandering is also a direct cause of unhappiness. We're not here for that long anyway. But to spend almost half of our life lost in thought and potentially quite unhappy, this kind of seems tragic.

Most people assume that meditation is all about stopping thoughts, getting rid of emotions, somehow controlling the mind, but actually it's quite different from that. It's more like stepping back and seeing the thought clearly, witnessing it coming and going in motions. And it's coming and going without judgments, but with a relaxed focused mind.

Meditation offers the opportunity, the potential to step back and to get a different perspective, to see that things aren't always the way they appear.

We can't change every single little thing in life, but we can change the way we experience it. That's the potential of meditation, of mindfulness...all you need to do is take 10 minutes out a day, to step back to familiarize yourself with the present moment, so that you get to experience a greater sense of focus, calm and clarity in your life.

Damaging Parenting Styles

It is important to know that sometimes what we do to/for our Generation iY children may not be good for them.

Here are 8 damaging parenting styles which this book has highlighted:

1. Helicopter Parents
• They hover over their kids obsessively, controlling everything their children do.
• Their kids are not allowed the privilege of learning to fail and persevere.
2. Karaoke Parents
• They try too hard to be cool in order to impress and be buddies to their children.
• Their kids are not given clear parameters that build security and self-esteem.
3. Dry-Cleaner Parents
• They drop their kids off for others to raise.
• Their kids don't get the mentoring and personal face-to-face time that they need.
4. Volcano Parents
• They will write papers and do homework for their children, then storm into the school office when the child gets a poor grade.
• They have unrealized dreams from their past, and try to fulfill them through their children.
5. Dropout Parents
• They let their kids down by quitting on the effort to raise their kids.
• They fail to provide a healthy role model of finishing what they start.
6. Bullied Parents
• They can't stand up to their kids.
• They lack the courage and strength to lead their strong-willed children and prepare them for a potentially harsh adult world.
7. Groupie Parents
• They treat their kids like rock stars.
• They fail to realize that kids need leaders, not servants.
8. Commando Parents
• They offer more rules than relationship to their kids.
• They are focused on attaining compliance and perfection instead of growth and improvement.

Do understand that these parenting styles are not doing the children any good. It's never too late to change. Be a leader to your children, find out what they want to be, and provide them mentoring in realizing their potential.

Your children deserve the same childhood that you have been through, which had actually groomed you to become who you are today.

Shut Up and Listen!

Thinking of helping people?

Instead of patronizing and paternalizing people, why not for once, learn how to shut up and listen to what the people have to say about what they want to do for their lives?

This video gives a new perspective in what works best in terms of helping people achieve their potential.

 

Ernesto Sirolli: Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!

Here are some important quotes taken from the video:

Above all the economic development, if people do not wish to be helped, leave them alone. This should be the first principle of aid. The first principle of aid is RESPECT.

I decided, when I was 27 years old, that I would only respond to people. And I invented the system called enterprise facilitation, where you never initiate anything, you never motivate anybody, but you become the servant of the local passion, the servant of local people who have a dream to be better person. So what you do, you shut up, you never arrive in the community with any ideas, and you sit with the local people, we don't work from offices, we meet at the café, we meet at the pub, we have zero infrastructure. And what we do, we become friends, and we find out what that person wants to do.

The most important thing is passion. You can give somebody an idea. If that person doesn't want to do it, what are you going to do?

The passion that the person has for his own growth is the most important thing. And then we help them go find the knowledge. 

Nobody in the world can succeed alone. The person with the idea may not have the knowledge, but the knowledge is available.

There is no point making people do something they don't want to do, even if that something could be beneficial to them, because at the end of the day, it may not be something that they are looking for and they won't appreciate it.

RESPECT their needs.

What Fear Can Teach Us

Everyone of us has our own set of fears, but how we look at these fears - whether as our enemies or our teachers - will significantly impact the outcome of our lives.

This video talks about a fresh view that we can adopt in facing our fears.

 

Karen Thompson Walker: What fear can teach us

Here are some key quotes I have taken from the video:

We know how fear feels, but I'm not sure do we spend enough time thinking about what our fear means?

As we grow up, we're often encouraged to think of fear as a weakness, just another childish thing to discard like baby teeth and roller skates.

Neuroscientists have actually shown that humans are hardwired to be optimists. So maybe that's why we think of fear sometimes as a danger in or itself..."don't worry" we like to say to one another, or "don't panic".

In English, fear is something we conquer, something we fight, something we overcome. But what if we look at it in a fresh way, what if we thought of fear as an amazing act of imagination, something that can be as profound and insightful like story-telling itself. 

What if instead of calling them fears, we call them stories, because that's really what fear is if you think about it. It's a kind of unintentional story-telling that we are all born knowing how to do.

Fear and story-telling have the same components. They have the same architecture. Like all stories, fears have characters, and in our fears the characters are ourselves.

Fears also have plots. They have beginnings, middles and ends: you board a plane, the plane takes off, the engine fails.

Our fears also tend to contain imagery that can be every bit as vivid as we can find in pages of a novel: picture a cannibal, human teeth sinking into human skin, human flesh roasting over fire.

Fears also have suspense. Just like every great stories, our fears focus our attention on a question that is as important in life as it is in literature - what will happen next. In other words, our fears make us think about the future. And humans are the only creatures capable of thinking about the future in this way, of projecting ourselves forward in terms of time. And this mental time travelling is one more thing fears have in common with story-telling.

If we think of our fears as more than just fears but stories, we should think of ourselves as the author of those stories. But just as important, we should also think of ourselves as the readers of our fears. And how we choose to read our fears can have a profound effect on our lives.

Embrace and read your fears.

What is Your Leadership DNA?

What would you like to pass on to your next generation in terms of leadership qualities?

Just like our body's DNA, our leadership qualities can also be passed on to our next generation of leaders.

Article: http://www.thenexgengroup.com/resources/204/What%20is%20your%20leadership%20DNA.pdf

In this article published by The Nexgen Group, these are the 3 elements of every leader's character DNA:

• D efining Experiences
• The key moments and turning points of our life which shape our character and shift our view of life.
• N on-negotiable Values
• The things that you admire about the people you admire, the character traits that you cannot tolerate, the words that you hope people would use to describe you.
• A xioms for Living and Leading
• The principle or core truth which forms the basis for your decision or actions.

Your leadership DNA is your most important legacy you can leave behind for your next generation of leaders in your organization, or even family.

The Golden Circle

What does Apple, Dr Martin Luther King and the Wright Brothers have in common?

All the great and inspiring leaders and organizations in the world, they all think, act and communicate the exact same way, and it's the complete opposite to everyone else.

Watch this video to learn more about "The Golden Circle" of why, how and what.

Simon Sinek: How great leaders inspire action

Here are some good quotes taken from the video.

Very few organizations know why they do what they do. Any by why I don't mean profit, it's a result. By why I mean what's your purpose, what's your cause, what's your belief. Why does your organization exist. Why do you get out of bed every morning? And why should anyone care?

Everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo, we believe in thinking differently. The way we challenge the status quo is by making our products beautifully designed, simple to use, and user friendly. We just happen to make good computers. Want to buy one?

People don't buy what you do. People buy why you do it.

The goal is not to do business with everybody who needs what you have.The goal is to do business with people who believe what you believe.

It's all grounded in the tenants of biology, not psychology. If you look at the cross section of our brain from the top down, what you see is the human brain is broken into 3 major components that perfectly matches "The Golden Circle". Our neo-cortex corresponds with the what level (rasional, analytical, language). The middle two sections make up our limbic brains, and our limbic brains are responsible for all our feelings (trust, loyalty, human behaviour, decision making) and has no capacity for language.

The goal is not to hire people who need a job, it's to hire people who believe what you believe.

For the proof that Langley was motivated by the wrong thing, the day the Wright Brothers took flight, he quit.

And if you talk about what you believe, you'll attract those who believe what you believe.

The first 2.5% of our population are our innovators. The next 13.5% of our population are our early adopters. The next 34% are our early majority, followed by 34% of the late majority, and 16% who are laggards.

In the summer of 1963, 250,000 people showed up in the Mall of Washington to hear Dr King speak. They sent out no invitations, and there was no website to check the date. How did you do that? Well, Dr King was not the only man in America who's a great orator. He was not the only man in America who suffered in a piece of the rights in America. In fact, some of his ideas were bad. But he had a gift. He didn't go around telling people what needed to be changed in America. He went and told people about his belief. And people who believed what he believed took his cause and made it their own, and they told people...How many people showed up for him? Zero. They showed up for themselves. It is what they believed...By the way, he gave a "I Have A Dream" speech, and not a "I Have A Plan" speech.

We follow those who lead not because we have to, but because we want to. We follow those who lead, not for them, but for ourselves. And it's those who start with WHY that have the ability to inspire those around them, will find others who inspire them.

Remember, the purpose should not be to make profit. Profit is always the result of the purpose.

Do you know why you do the things you do? Do you know what is your purpose?

Try A Power Pose and Share the Science

This topic is very relevant to you if you want to have better outcome in your life.

We know that...
Our non-verbals govern how other people think and feel about us.
But do our non-verbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves?

We know that...
Our minds change our bodies.
But do our bodies change our minds?

Watch this powerful video and see if you can find something useful to you.

Your body language shapes who you are

Powerful people tend to be more assertive, more confident, more optimistic, and tend to think more abstractly. They take more risks.

Physiologically there are also differences in their key hormones - testosterone (dominance) and cortisol (stress).

Research shows that high-power alpha males in the primate hierarchies have high testosterone and low cortisol, and powerful effective leaders also have high testosterone and low cortisol.

Power is not only about dominance, it's also about how you react to stress.

Role changes can shape the mind.

Can power posing for a few minutes really change your life in meaningful ways?

It's not about the content of the speech, it's about the presence they bring into the speech. Presence - confident, authentic, comfortable, captivating, enthusiastic, passionate.

Our bodies change our minds, and our minds change our behaviour, and our behaviour changes our outcomes.

When you're in the position of being self-disbelieving, you need to learn how to fake it until you make it, and eventually become it.

Don't fake it until you make it, fake it until you become it.

Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes.

Here's the message:

Try a power pose and share the science.

Why We Do What We Do

Why you do what you do?

What is your motto for action?

What is it that drives you today?

Effective leaders have the ability to consistently move themselves and others to action because they understand the "invisible forces" that shape us.

We live in a therapy culture - the mindset that we are are past. The most of society thinks that biography is destiny. The past equals the future.

You can know something intellectually, you can know what to do and not use it and not apply it.

Decision is the ultimate power.

When people fail to achieve their goals...what are the reasons they give?
Time, money, technology, contacts, experience, management, etc.
What do all these have in common? They are claimed to be your missing resources. They may be accurate. But they are not the defining factor.

The defining factor is never resources, it's resourcefulness.
Resourcefulness in the form of creativity. determination, love/caring, curiosity, passion, resolve, etc.

3 Decisions of Destiny

1. What am I going to focus on?
2. What does it mean?
3. What are you going to do?

The two primary patterns - the invisible forces that shape us:

1. In the moment
• Our "state" - physical/emotional
2. Long term
• Our model of the world or world view - the shaper of MEANING, EMOTION, and ACTION!

Learn more from Tony Robbins in this video!

Are You Matured?

I read an interesting section in this book, which talks about "The Marks of Maturity", and it can be helpful in focusing our efforts to help adolescents move into adulthood.

The Marks of Maturity

1. A mature person is able to keep long-term commitments.
• This calls for the ability to delay gratification, and to keep commitment even when things are no longer new or novel.
2. A mature person is unshaken by flattery or criticism.
• Mature people can receive compliments or criticism without letting it ruin them or give them a distorted view of themselves.
3. A mature person possesses a spirit of humility.
• Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
4. A mature person's decisions are based on character, not feelings.
• They have principles which guide their decisions, and character which master over their emotions.
5. A mature person expresses gratitude consistently.
• Immature children presume they deserve everything good that happens to them, while mature people see the big picture and realize how good they have it, compared to the most of the world's population.
6. A mature person knows how to prioritize others before themselves.
• A mature person is one whose agenda revolves around others, not self.
7. A mature person seeks wisdom before acting.
• Mature people are teachable. They don't presume they have all the answers. Only the wise seek wisdom.

Reading the list above reminds me of the areas which I have not matured yet even though I stake my claim as being an adult.  :)

What's Missing?

Ironically, this is the part where most people are stuck with. We think, we analyse, we strategize, we wait, and we fail to...

Principle #25 - Start Now! Just Do It!

"Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out." ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

"First you jump off the cliff and you build wings on the way down." ~ Ray Bradbury

"Everyone who got to where they are had to begin with where they were." ~ Richard Paul Evans

"The best strategy is just to jump in and get started. Don't keep putting things off waiting for 12 doves to fly over your house in the sign of a cross before you begin. Just start." ~ Jack Canfield

Thank you so much to Jack Canfield for teaching these 25 success principles. It has been fun reading this book and applying some of the principles. Highly recommended!

Meet the Generation iY (Part 3)

Some of us are wondering why the Generation iYs are slow at "entering" adulthood. Parenting and peer influence apart, this is part of the "marketing plan" of corporations.

Today, our world has been increasingly sliced up into demographic sectors. Each "slice" is a market that sellers want to control...and the most-desired slice by far is the young. "They are the optimum market to be going after for consumer electronics, Game Boys, flat screen TVs, iPods, couture fashion, exotic vacations and so forth," says David Morrison, president of TwentySomething Inc., a marketing consultancy based in Philadelphia. "Most of their needs are taken care of by moms and dads, so their income is largely discretionary."

Corporations, in other words, have a real stake in keeping young people in a tractable, exploitable, preadult state - living at home, spending their money on toys. This economic reality is yet another reason why, like it or not, adolescence is now a prolonged season of life - and the tollbooth has become a roadblock. Retailers not only don't expect iYers to grow up; they don't want them to.

Taking a look into these four areas of growth among Gen iYs:

• They are advanced biologically. They reach puberty one to two years earlier than previous generations.
• They are advanced cognitively. Most can handle multiple messages rapidly and digest visual information more quickly than adults.
• They are advanced socially. They are constantly linked to hundreds of friends via the internet.
• They are not as advanced in emotional maturity.

"Easy money" also comes into play:

America is drowning in the quicksand of easy credit and the accessibility of credit cards. The problem of course is that students not only can enjoy products and services long before they can afford them - but they finish college with huge debt and no way to pay it off except to move back home - delaying their own maturation and independence. While many may argue for the importance of establishing credit in young adults, it seems they're rarely able to delay gratification to use that credit wisely.

Find Common Ground

Here is the 3rd of the 3 principles about connecting which can be applied in many aspects of our life:
Connectors find common ground.

John Maxwell Leadership ( Pt 3 ) How To Connect With People

What connectors understand is this - to be effective, they have to go where the people are, know what the people know, and participate in what the people are doing.

The great connectors, they find common ground, and then they lift the person to higher ground.

You can't lift a person to higher ground until you get where they are.

What I mean by higher ground is that we have taken enough time to know them so well that we know how to lift and encourage them and to put them in a position where they sense that we look up to them, that we respect them, that we value them.

What a great lesson, beautifully shared by John Maxwell  :)

Changing Education Paradigms

Many countries around the world are reforming their public education system around these two major themes:

Economy - How do we educate our children to take their place in the economies of the 21st century?

Cultural - How do we educate our children so that they have a sense of cultural identity, so that we can pass down our cultural genes while being part of the process of globalization?

The problem is they are trying to meet the future by doing what they did in the past. We believe in "hard work-do well-college-job", but our children no longer believe in that model.

Thus, we have to think differently about human capacity. And we have to also realize that most great learning happens in groups and collaboration is the stuff of growth.

Watch this insightful video which explains the above further.

RSA Animate - Changing Education Paradigms

The existing Prussian education system is purely focused on producing batch of "drones" to fill up the economic and social gaps in the society to serve some specific purposes for the privileged minority, rather than to meet the purposes of the individuals themselves.

It's time to be mindful of the kind of education that goes through the minds of our children.

It Requires Energy

Here is the 2nd of the 3 principles about connecting which can be applied in many aspects of our life:

Connecting requires energy.

John Maxwell Leadership ( Pt 2 ) How To Connect With People

One of the reasons we do not connect as much as we could or should, is because there’s a tremendous requirement of energy, that we have to continually expand to connect.

The only difference between a great dating life and an average marriage, is you work harder when you’re dating.

The energy that is required to connect with people is worth the price you pay once you understand.

Spread your energy  :)

It's All About Others

Here is the first of the 3 principles about connecting which can be applied in many aspects of our life:

Connecting is all about OTHERS.

John Maxwell Leadership ( Pt 1 ) How To Connect With People

Some powerful quotes from this video:

If you first help people get what they want, they will then help you get everything that you want.

You have to go find people at where they are, and help them go to the top together.

Leaders never cross the finish line first; people who cross the finish line first are alone; leaders bring along people when they cross the finish line.

Immature people don't think of other people first.

Maturity doesn't always accompany age; many times age comes alone.

Leaders understand that the day they take up the mantle of leadership, they give up the right to think of themselves first, and no longer they will live for themselves.

Leadership is servanthood - it's not about titles.

There is nothing worse in the world than an insecure leader who somehow thinks that the world should worship him.

Brilliantly John Maxwell  :)

Meet the Generation iY (Part 2)

In his book "Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future", author Tim Elmore refers the Generation iY as the group of younger Millenials, born after 1990, who resemble their Gen Y predecessors in many ways, but stand in stark contrast in volumes of other ways. This younger population has been predominantly defined by technology (iPod, iBook, iPhone, iPad), thus the name Generation iY.

Tim Elmore's research concluded that the reality of this generation can be described by these 4 words:

1. An Overwhelmed Generation
• 94% of students reported feeling overwhelmed by their lifestyles.
• 44% said they felt so depressed it was almost difficult to function.
• Almost 10% had considered suicide in the past year.
• They face a lot of stress which come from both internal (from their self-imposed belief that they are the best) and external (pressure from parents and society to perform) sources.
2. An Overconnected Generation
• They often get lost in a virtual world of online fantasy video games or social world of texting, Facebook and Twitter.
• They strive to be a "superkid" by going online to perform.
• So much of their life is connected by technology that they fail to develop face-to-face people skills.
• They can't live without their cell phones and PCs.
3. An Overprotected Generation
• They grew up with overprotective parenting and education methods.
• Many of them struggle with obesity, nearsightedness, depression, difficult to fulfil commitments, find life hard to cope with after leaving home.
4. An Overserved Generation
• They have developed a very strong self-esteem and believe they are very important people.
• They feel entitled to special treatment as they enter the adult world.
• They are often impatient, demanding, self-centered and short-tempered, with a poor work ethic and minimal sense of long-term commitment.
• They are both slackers and activists - they desire to change the world; but don't have what it takes to accomplish their lofty dreams.

The Generation iY is the product of the people from the earlier generations. It is only by acknowledging the major role we play in producing this group of Generation iYs, that we would start to recognize the importance of understanding them better and save their future.

You Are Not Your Body

It's amazing how sometimes one thing leads to another. If it wasn't for my pledge of learning something new to share on this blog, I wouldn't have chanced upon this inspiring and touching speech "You Are Not Your Body" by Janine Shepherd at TEDxKC.

It really amazes me how a person could actually still stand up and walk tall after suffering such a horrendous fall in life. And she did all that in just 18 months!

"Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years." ~ Bill Gates

Enjoy the video...

Inspirational quotes by Janine Shepherd, taken from her speech:

Life is about opportunities; creating them and embracing them.

Why would I want to go back to a body so broken, but this voice keep calling me, "Come on, stay with me."

How often in life do you get to make friendships judgement free, purely based on spirit?

And then I knew, like before, that I had a choice. I could keep fighting this, or I could let go and accept not only my body but also the circumstances of my life. And then I stopped asking "Why me?" but started to ask "Why not me?". And then I thought to myself, "Maybe being at rock bottom is actually the perfect place to start."

But then I knew for certain that although my body might be limited, it was my spirit that was unstoppable.

"When you let go of what you are, you become what you might be." ~ Lao Tzu

It wasn't till I let go of the life that I thought I should have, that I was be able to embrace the life that was waiting for me.

Beware of the Text Neck

I read an article in The Star's Fit4life section today, and tracked down its original source, titled "Texting Becoming a Pain in the Neck" by UNMC Physicians.

Link: http://www.unmcphysicians.com/whats-new/2012/november/texting%20becoming%20a%20pain%20in%20the%20neck.aspx

Here are some extracts from the article to give you a glimpse of what's this all about:

An excessive amount of leaning your head forward and down, while looking at a phone or other mobile device could result in what some people call “text neck.”

The term, “text neck,” was first coined by a chiropractor in Florida. “Text neck” is defined as overuse syndrome involving the head, neck and shoulders, usually resulting from excessive strain on the spine from looking in a downward position at hand held devices such as cell phones, mp3 players, e-readers, computer tablets, etc.

“When you hold your body in an abnormal position, it can increase stress on the muscles, cause fatigue, muscle spasms and even stress headaches,” Cornett said. “With every degree of motion to the front or side that you move your head, the stress on your neck is magnified beyond just the weight of the head.”

Do read the article for suggestions on how you can avoid this potential health issue.

Focus on Your Core Genius

Principle #24 - Stay Focused on Your Core Genius

Is there anything thing that you love to do and do so well that you don't even want to charge people for it?

That's your core genius.

Successful people always focus on their core genius, and delegate everything else to other people on their team.

"If you're a professional earning $75 per hour and you pay a neighbourhood kid $10 an hour to cut the grass, you save the effort of doing it yourself on the weekend and gain 1 extra hour when you could profit by $65...multiply that by at least 20 weekends in th spring and summer and you discover you've gained 20 hours a year at $65 per hour - or an extra $1,300 in potential earnings."

Strategic Coach Dan Sullivan once stated that all entrepreneurs are really con artists. They get other people to pay them to practice getting better at what they love to do.

"Anthony Robbins is a speaker and a trainer. He loves speaking and training. He has arranged his life so that people are constantly paying him large sums of money to do what he loves to do."

Do what you love, or love what you do, and the money will come to you when you become good enough at it.

Focus on your core genius!

How to be an INFLUENCER?

Last Friday I attended a training offered by my company, on "Influencing Skills". It was quite a good training as I took 3 pages of notes.  :)

Here are the highlights of what I have learned from the training:

• When it comes to influencing people, we need to understand these 3 important aspects:
• What - traits for influencing people
• Who - identify the stakeholders
• How - skills and strategies
• Small children are very good at influencing people, because they truly mastered the 3 aspects above  :)
• The level of influence that successful people have on the general public does not necessarily have anything to do with their background, age, money or academic performance.
• Underlying principles:
• Influencers tend to be "experts" in a specific domain.
• Influencers tend to be "early adopters" or know how to build relationship with early adopters to move change through.
• Influencing is NOT bullying, dictating, forcing or manipulating.
• Influencing skills involve
• Social skills - ability to interact with others successfully.
• Information gathering skills - ability to have relevant information in the right context.
• Judgement - ability to assess all aspects of a situation and have the experience to choose how to communicate appropriately.
• The 4 levels of influence
• Model - people follow what they see you do.
• Motivate - encourage or communicate at an emotional level.
• Mentoring - pour your life into others' and help them achieve their potential.
• Multiply - duplicate more influencers.
• Use RAPID to indentify the stakeholders
• Recommend - person who recommends.
• Approver - person who approves; the gatekeeper.
• Perform - person who helps to implement.
• Inform - person who will be impacted by the implementation.
• Decision - person who makes the decision to implement.
• Influence without authority (the Cohen-Bradford model)
• Assume all are potential allies - make yourself likeable
• Clarify your goals and priorities
• Diagnose the world of the other person - understand your potential ally's world
• Identify the relevant "currencies" - what truly matters to your potential ally
• Deal with relationships - trust, good relationship, active listening, emotional intelligence
• Influence through give and take - negotiate win-win

Here are the traits of a person of influence:

• I ntegrity with people
• N urtures other people
• F aith in peole
• L istens to People
• U nderstands people
• E nlarges people
• N avigates for other people
• C onnects with people
• E mpowers people
• R eproduces other influencers

And I had just found out that the above traits are actually taken from this book "Becoming a Person of Influence" by John C. Maxwell and Jim Dornan. You may get it for further reading.

Sadly, I noticed that not many people in the class actually appreciated it.

• 5 out of the 6 fellow engineers sitting on the same table with me were drawing cartoons on paper.
• 3 out of the 5 took some notes, but the length was not more than half an A4-size paper.

The fact that my company's management has taken the initiave to offer this course as one of the "essential" courses for engineers, actually shows that they do see the lacking of "influencing skills" among engineers as a major gap in the organization's efficacy. Perhaps the management has to figure out why people are feeling indifferent about this topic.

Persistence

Every living soul on this planet faces challenges every day. And how well a person responds against challenges will determine how far he can move on in life.

"In the Orient young bulls are tested for the fight arena in a certain manner. Each is brought to the ring and allowed to attack a picador who pricks them with a lance. The bravery of each bull is then rated with care according to the number of times he demonstrates his willingness to charge in spite of the sting of the blade. Henceforth will I recognize that each day I am tested by life in like manner. If I persist, if I continue to try, if I continue to charge forward, I will succeed."

Life is full of mysteries. You'll never know what you're going to get, until you've got it. You'll never know when you're going to succeed, until you've succeeded. Thus the strategy is to keep taking the next step until you've reached your goal.

"The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning; and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next bend in the road. Never will I know how close it lies unless I turn the corner.

Always will I take another step. If that is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult."

A Chinese proverb says, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." A small simple effort, repeated over time, will eventually lead to a huge achievement. When you start losing patience, remember that Rome wasn't built in a day.

"Henceforth, I will consider each day's effort as but one blow of my blade against a mighty oak. The first blow may cause not a tremor in the wood, nor the second, nor the third. Each blow, of itself, may be triffling, and seem of no consequence. Yet from childish swipes the oak will eventually tumble. So it will be with my efforts of today.

I will be liken to the raindrop which washes away the mountain; the ant who devours a tiger; the star which brightens the earth; the slave who builds a pyramid. I will build my castle one brick at a time for I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking."

Persist, and you will succeed.

Are You Confused?

I remember since I was small, I have been taught moral values such as diligence, determination and courage - values which are crucial in helping us achieve what we want in life.

At the same time, I have also been taught moral values such as moderation, gratefulness and appreciativeness - values which are crucial in keeping us in check of our behaviours, and helping us secure the things which we have achieved in life.

But nowadays, I'm getting more and more confused with the behaviour of people.

Many people that I know, they contemplate achieving better things in life. So they would go out seeking for ways to achieve them. When they have finally found a way, they would put in their whole-hearted effort to work it out.

As we know, life is not a bed of roses. Everyone is bound to face challenges. The bigger the goal, the bigger the challenges. These challenges are designed by life to test our resolve. And that is when things get interesting with most people.

Lets call them the chasing pack - people who are going after their dreams and goals.

A minority of these people whom I know, they would persevere and get over the challenges, and eventually enjoy the taste of success. They are grateful for the challenges thrown at them, and thus are very appreciative of the things that they have attained. Mostly, they have also grown to be more humble and generous, because they understand that whatever they have achieved, they could not have done it alone. Many people have helped and encouraged them along the way.

On the other side of the spectrum, a majority of these people that I know, they would give in to the challenges, and eventually fail in their pursuit of the things that they contemplate on achieving. Some would blame their failures on life's circumstances. Some would lament their lack of luck. Some would indulge themselves in various "what-ifs". But most of them would end up consoling themselves by saying things like:

"Well, I should be happy with the things that I have now. Let's not be greedy."

"Moderation is a good virtue. I should live moderately and should not dream of the extraordinary."

"Chasing after  money is bad. It makes me forget about my principles. I should not be tempted by any desires or lust."

In my opinion, humans are born with the desire to achieve better things in life.

Babies desire to become better by learning how to crawl. Then they learn how to walk. As their legs become stronger, they learn how to run and chase after their friends. Along the journey, they would fall and cry. But that doesn't stop them from getting up every time they fall.

Imagine this. What would your response be when your children tell you:

"Mom, it's so hard to learn how to walk. I tried my very best but keep falling all the time and it really hurts. I think I'm just not meant to walk. After all, I still know how to crawl, and this should be enough to get me to the places that I want to go. Even if I can't walk, I can still crawl. I should be happy and thankful for that. Lets just forget about walking."

Would you call this as an act of contentment and moderation? Or would you consider this as an act of giving up?

My message here is simple: Most people do crave for better things in life, but they fear the obstacles and rejections. Don't try to mess up the good virtue of "contentment" with your giving up.

To me, the same words "I should be grateful for the things that I have now" bear two different meanings:

• After you have fought hard and achieved your goals --> contentment
• After you have given up your goals --> excuse

If you agree with me, please stop "endorsing" failures in the name of "contentment". Giving up is not a virtue to be encouraged.

Greet Your Day with Love

One of the most important traits that great leaders have is that they are full of compassion for their people. Compassion is a form of love. In other words, great leaders are well respected by their people, because they love their people.

"Compassion is the understanding or empathy for the suffering of others. It is regarded as a fundamental part of human love, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnection and humanism - foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood." ~ Wikipedia

In the context of compassion, love is our strongest shield against adversity and negativity. I particularly love this two parts of the sacred scroll in this book "The Greatest Salesman in the World" by Og Mandino:

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures. Muscle and split a shield and even destroy life but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men and until I master this art I will remain no more than a peddler in the market place. I will make love my greatest weapon and none on whom I call can defend against its force.

I will greet this day with love in my heart.

But how will I react to the actions of others? With love. For just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, love is also my shield to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger. Adversity and discouragement will beat against my new shield and become as the softest of rains. My shield will protect me in the market place and sustain me when I am alone. It will uplift me in moments of despair yet it will calm me in time of exultation. It will become stronger and more protective with use until one day I will cast it aside and walk unencumbered among all manners of men and, when I do, my name will be raised high on the pyramid of life.

Start greeting your day with love, and you will succeed against the adversity and negativity surrounding you.  :)