How to Gain People's Permission

If you're now dealing with people at Leadership Level 2 - Permission, you need to start with winning people's permission to lead. Here are 5 tips to help you perform better at this level:

#1 - Connect with yourself before trying to connect with others.

• Before you start building relationships with others, you need to know and like yourself first. You must become the kind of person you would like to spend time with.
• There are 5 components of connecting to yourself:
• Self-awareness - know you personality, temperament, strengths, weaknesses
• Self-image - deal with your personal issues so that you can be positive about yourself
• Self-honesty - look at yourself realistically and face reality, no matter how hurtful it can be
• Self-improvement - make a commitment to grow in your ability to develop relationships
• Self-responsibility - accept that you're responsible for your actions and attitudes

#2 - Develop a people-oriented leadership style.

• Don't rely on rules, system or stick to lead people.
• They use personal touch to deal with people - they listen, learn and lead.
• Always take people into account when doing things - where they are, what they believe, what they're feeling.
• Think more in terms of people's emotions and human capacity, and less in terms of systems and regulations.

#3 - Practice the golden rule.

• Treat others as you would like to be treated.
• Motivate people, not manipulate people.
• Make people feel respected.

#4 - Become the chief encourager of your team.

• Lift people up by giving them affirmation.
• People are naturally attracted to people who give them confidence and make them feel good about themselves.

#5 - Strike a balance between care and candor.

• What makes a family great isn't what makes a team great. Families value community over contribution. Businesses value contribution over community. The best teams strike a balance.
• Just because you care about people doesn't mean you let them work without responsibility or accountability.
• Care without candor creates dysfunctional relationships. Candor without care creates distant relationships. Care balanced with candor creates developing relationships.
• Caring values the person while candor values the person's potential.
• Caring establishes the relationship while candor expands the relationship.
• Caring defines the relationship while candor directs the relationship.
• Caring should never suppress candor while candor should never displace caring.
• Candor is a two-way street. Instead of just giving feedback, you should also solicit feedback from people.

When you build strong relationships with your team, your team will be motivated to work with you towards the team's common goal.

How to Make The Most of Your Position

Some of you might be dealing with Leadership Level 1 - Position, especially when you're appointed to a new position or role in your organization. Here are 3 important suggestions given in this book "How Successful People Lead" on how you can make the best of your position:

#1 - Stop relying on position to push people.

• If you have to tell people that you're the leader, you're not.
• Emphasize on collaboration (Let's work together) instead of using top-down approach (I'm over you).
• Take initiative (I'll come to you) instead of separating yourself (Don't let people get close to you).
• Adopt a service mindset (I'm here to help you) instead of selfishness (You're here to help me).
• Encourage (I believe you can do this) instead of intimidate (Do this or else!).

#2 - Trade entitlement for movement.

• Understand that leadership must be earned and established.
• Forget about your leadership rights and focus on your responsibility to make a difference in the lives of the people you lead.

#3 - Leave your position and move toward your people.

• Don't mistakenly believe that it is the responsibility of your people to come to you for what they need and want.
• Stop being king of the hill, get down from your high place, and find your people.
• Be willing to leave your comfort zone and take risks with the people you lead, learn who they are, find out what they need, and help them and the team win.

When we get ourselves uncomfortable in conquering new territories, we are actually expanding our comfort zone and enlarging ourselves to become a better leader.

5 Levels of Leadership

I was engrossed with what I saw when I first opened this book "How Successful People Lead" by John C. Maxwell. It's a diagram showing the "5 Levels of Leadership".

Level 1 - Position : People follow you because they have to.

• People who stayed in Level 1 may be bosses, but they are never leaders.
• They have subordinates, but not team members.
• They rely on rules, policies and organization charts to exert control.
• They usually have difficulty working with volunteers, younger people and the highly educated.

Level 2 - Permission : People follow you because they want to.

• They build their leadership entirely on relationships.
• They like people and treat people as individuals, develop trust.
• They get to know their people and figure out how to get along with them.

Level 3 - Production : People follow you because of what you have done for the organization.

• They gain influence and credibility based on results.
• They become change agents, tackle tough problems and face thorny issues.
• They make difficult decisions which make a difference.
• They bring people up to another level of effectiveness.

Level 4 - People Development : People follow you because of what you have done for them.

• They become great because of their ability to empower others.
• They invest in their followers and develop them into leaders.
• Through people development, they increase teamwork and lift performances.
• They change the lives of the people they lead.

Level 5 - Pinnacle : People follow you because of who you are and what you represent.

• This level requires not only effort, skill, and intentionality but also a high level of talent.
• They develop leaders to the level where they are able and willing to develop other leaders.
• They create legacy in what they do.

Just the right book for me to read at this time. My goal to is finish digesting this book within the next 7 days!

Thank you, John C. Maxwell!

Resume Skills vs Leadership Skills

I have just finished reading this book "You Don't Need A Title to be A Leader" by Mark Sanborn, two days ago.

I was very deeply humbled by the end section of this book which talks about "Leaving a Leadership Legacy". It says that great leaders don't just build their resumes; they also strive to leave a legacy. Their goal in life is not just to "be good", but rather to "be good for something".

A person who thinks only about building his resume cares only about:

• What they have accomplished
• Results
• The money they've made
• The impression they leave
• Their career
• Self improvement

Whereas, a leader who thinks about leaving a legacy cares about:

• What they've contributed
• Relationships
• The difference they've made
• The impact they have
• Their organization, family, and community
• Helping others improve

Are you building a strong resume or preparing to leave a lasting legacy? ~ Mark Sanborn

What Vehicle Dynamics Teaches Us About Success Principles

Vehicle dynamics teaching us about success principle???

Some of you might think that this sounds crazy, but let me show you how it makes sense  :)

This is the car that I'm going to drive around teaching people about success principles!

Lesson #1: A car needs an engine and fuel to move forward.

• The engine is our HEART and the fuel is our DREAM. A heart without a dream is like a car with engine but no fuel, it can't move forward.
• You need both your HEART and DREAM to move forward in life.

Lesson #2: A car needs to overcome inertia, friction and air drag to move forward.

• Inertia is like your comfort zone, friction is like the challenges you face in life, and air drag is like the distractions that slow you down.
• Your HEART and DREAM have to be stronger than the challenges and distractions in life to propel you out from your comfort zone.

Lesson #3: The brakes have to be released in order for the car to accelerate and move forward.

• The brakes are like doubts which keep you stagnated. No matter how hard you press on the accelerator, as long as the brakes are on, you won't be able to move forward. Worse, you end up losing fuel and getting worn out and exhausted.
• Imagine while you're driving, you found out that the hand brake was on and that caused your car to move slower than expected. Would you press harder on the accelerator? Or would you just release the hand brake?
• You need to let go off your doubts in order to move forward.

Lesson #4: A car which carries lesser weight uses lesser fuel and moves forward faster.

• The weight is like the mental and emotional baggage that you carry with you in life. A car with full load of passengers burns more fuel and takes a longer time to accelerate compared to a car with only a passenger.
• Dropping these mental and emotional baggage would allow you to reach your goals easier and faster.

Lesson #5: Some cars move faster and consume lesser fuel, while others move slower despite consuming more fuel.

• The difference here is effectiveness and efficiency. Some engines are more powerful and efficient than others. Some cars have more efficient transmission systems. Some cars are designed with better aerodynamic properties to reduce air drag.
• You need to improve your skills, knowledge and attitude in order to work more effectively and efficiently towards your goals.

And here's the most important lesson of all...


Lesson #6: The driver needs to start the engine and press on the accelerator before the car can move.

• You need to IGNITE your heart and dream, and take ACTION, before you can move forward!

Do these things make sense to you?  :)

Face Your Fears...Take The Jump!

"Don't let fear prevent you from taking decisive action."

I was attracted by this statement when reading "Principle 5 - The Power of Execution" in this book by Mark Sanborn. He related his experience doing bungee jump:

"As I stood at the top of the bridge, I remembered reading about a part of the brain that takes over when we're afraid...And I remember thinking that if I were going to go through the jump, I would have to depend on that primitive part of the brain, because my logical, rational brain was telling me to get the heck out of there..."

After the jump:

"I made an incredible discovery. Jumping is not at all scary. The only scary part is thinking about jumping...This experience reminded me that most of the things we fear in our lives are not nearly as scary as we imagine when we finally confront them. I think that true leaders, once they have gathered their information and made a decision about a certain action, rely on the primitive part of the brain that propels them forward, without further thought, discussion, intellectualization, or rationalization. Once they've made a commitment to an action, they follow through with it, despite their trepidation or fear."

He also related another lesson he learned from the bungee jump experience:

"The woman who jumped after me had a more difficult time getting off the bridge...I asked her, 'What was it that finally made you jump off the bridge?' She said they only asked her two questions. Number one: How will you feel after you've jumped? And number two: How will you feel if you don't?"

"Next time you find yourself facing an important decision and you're not sure what to do, ask yourself two simple questions: When you've successfully confronted the challenge, how will you feel? And if you decide not to take that challenge, how will you feel, months and years later, about not having made that leap?"

There is always headwind facing those who move confidently forward. Therefore you need to face your fears, act boldly, and take the jump!

Leaders vs Managers

Today I found an interesting section while reading this book "You Don't Need A Title to be A Leader" by Mark Sanborn.

This section talks about the differences between Leaders and Managers:

Managers have employees; leaders win followers.

Managers react to change; leaders create change.

Managers have good ideas; leaders implement them.

Managers communicate; leaders persuade.

Managers direct groups; leaders create teams.

Managers try to be heroes; leaders make heroes of everyone around them.

Managers take credit; leaders take responsibility.

Managers exercise power over people; leaders exercise power with people.

Imagine if you were to strip yourself of your title, would you still be able to do the things that you used to do while having your title?

If your answer is "NO", this would be a crucial wake up call for you!

Living Within Your Means

Let's say your children ask you this...

"Daddy/Mommy, I want a piano! I want to learn how to play a piano! Can you buy me a piano?"

But at the moment, you're tied up financially and are not able to afford it.

Honestly, how would you respond to your children?

A - "It's very expensive, dear. We can't afford it. It's better for you to study hard now and get a good paying job in future. You don't earn much as a pianist."

B - "Why do you want to learn piano? There's nothing good about playing piano. It's a waste of time. Go read your book."

C - "Ok, we'll figure out how we can get it for you. But first, you need to prove it to me that you're really really serious about this. Deal?"

If your answer is C, I'm looking for you. Please PM me if you want more information.
philippe.yjlee83@gmail.com


In my opinion, if your answer is

A - You're asking your children to forget about their dream.

B - You're demonizing your children's dream.

C - You're teaching your children an important principle of success - fight for their dream.

Goals and Sense of Urgency

An engineer was on his way walking back home after staying back late at work. As he entered a dark path near the cemetery leading towards his house, he fell into a huge deep hole leftover by road maintenance workers.

Feeling creepy, he tried many many times to jump and climb out from the hole, but to no avail. There's no point shouting for help, he thought, as this area would normally be deserted during this hour of the night. So he decided to give up trying and wait till sunrise, where the road maintenance workers would be back.

Just as he was about to sit down to get some rest, a faint voice came from his side, saying "Hello..."

(Apparently another man had also fallen into the hole, tried and gave up climbing out from the hole as well.) 

Feeling terrified, he got up frantically and by the next moment, he's already climbed out from the hole running back home.

The moral of the story?

We need an URGENT goal/dream to spur and motivate us to reach for greater heights in life.

When the goal/dream is not urgent enough, procrastination would soon kick in and detract us from our plans.

Laugh at the World

Happiness attracts success. Success breeds happiness. It's a positive cycle  :)

This month, I'm going to remind myself to fill up my day with laughter, lots of them. I want to attract success!

I find these excerpts from Chapter Fourteen very very inspiring:

"I will laugh at the world.

For all worldly things shall indeed pass. When I am heavy with heartache I shall console myself that this too shall pass; when I am puffed with success I shall warn myself that this too shall pass. When I am strangled in poverty I shall tell myself that this too shall pass; when I am burdened with wealth I shall tell myself that this too shall pass. Yea, verily, where is he who built the pyramid? Is he not buried within its stone? And will the pyramid, one day, not also be buried under sand? If all things shall pass why should I be of concern for today?

I will laugh at the world.

And with my laughter all things will be reduced to their proper size. I will laugh at my failures and they will vanish in clouds of new dreams; I will laugh at my success and they will shrink to their true value. I will laugh at evil and it will die untasted; I will laugh at goodness and it will thrive and abound. Each day will be triumphant only when my smiles bring forth smiles from others and this I do in selfishness, for those on whom I frown are those who purchase not my goods.

Never will I allow myself to become so important, so wise, so dignified, so powerful that I forget how to laugh at myself and my world. In this matter I will always remain as a child, for only as a child am I given the ability to look up to others; and so long as I look up to another I will never grow too long for my cot."

~ Og Mandino

I will laugh. I will succeed! Hahaha!!!

Mastering Emotions

Finally I'm back!

It has been a challenging 2 months for me in terms of managing time and emotions. But thankfully, I had the company of this very special book, which had pulled me through these awful challenges.

Coincidentally, for the past whole month I had been reading Chapter Thirteen of this book, which aptly tackled the problem that I had with mood swings and attitude attack.

Here are my favourite excerpts taken from this chapter:

"Today I will be master of my emotions.

And how will I master my emotions so that every day is a happy day, and a productive one? I will learn this secret of the ages: Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.

Each day, when I awake, I will follow this plan of battle before I am capture by the forces of sadness, self-pity and failure --

If I feel depressed, I will sing. 

If I feel sad, I will laugh.

If I feel ill, I will double my labor.

If I feel fear, I will plunge ahead.

If I feel inferior, I will wear new garments.

If I feel uncertain, I will raise my voice.

If I feel poverty, I will think of wealth to come.

If I feel incompetent, I will remember past success.

If I feel insignificant, I will remember my goals.

Today I will be master of my emotions.

Henceforth, I will know that only those with inferior ability can always be at their best, and I am not inferior. There will be days when I must constantly struggle against forces which would tear me down. Those such as despair and sadness are simple to recognize but there are others which approach with a smile and the hand of friendship and they can also destroy me. Against them, too, I must never relinquish control.

And with this new knowledge, I will also understand and recognize the moods of he on whom I call. I will make allowances for his anger and irritation of today for he knows not the secret of controlling his mind. I can withstand his arrows and insults for now I know that tomorrow he will change and be a joy to approach.

Today I will be master of my emotions.

Henceforth I will recognize and identify the mystery of moods in all mankind, and in me. From this moment I am prepared to control whatever personality awakes in me each day. I will master my moods through positive action and when I master my moods I will control my destiny."

~ Og Mandino

Learn how to master your emotions, good or bad, and you'll gain control of your destiny!