Tuesday 24 December 2013

Compassion, Deep Listening, Mindfulness, Happiness and Suffering, and the Four Mantras

I stumbled upon this inspiring video clip by chance, and was very touched and enlightened by the wisdom displayed by Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh in this interview session by Oprah Winfrey.



Here's a list of wonderful quotes from the interview:
There is a possibility to handle every kind of event and the essential is to keep the peace in yourself.
And we call it the beginner's mind. The deep intention, the deepest desire that one person may have.
I said this is not suicide. Because in a difficult situation like Vietnam, to make your voice heard is difficult. So sometimes we have to burn ourselves alive in order for our voice to be heard around...so that is out of compassion that you do that, the act of love and not of despair. And Jesus Christ died in the same spirit, out of love.
I thought that the American people had produced King. But are not capable of preserving him.
Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of the other person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose, help him or her to empty his heart. And if you remember that you are helping him or her to suffer less, and then even if he says things full of wrong perceptions, full of bitterness, you are still capable to continue to listen with compassion. Because you know that listening like that, with compassion, you give him or her a chance to suffer less. If you want to help him or her to correct his perception, and then you wait for another time. But for the time being, you just listen with compassion, and help him or her to suffer less. And one hour like that can bring transformation and healing.
The fear, the anger and the despair is born on the ground of wrong perception. We have wrong perceptions concerning ourselves and the other person, and that is the foundation for conflict and war and violence.
And we should be able to say like this, "Dear friends, dear people, I know that you suffer a lot. I have not understood enough of your difficulties and suffering. It's not our intention to make you suffer more. It is opposite. So please tell us about your suffering, your difficulties. I'm eager to learn to understand." It has to start like that, loving speech. And if you're honest, if you are true, they will open their heart and tell us. And then we practice compassionate, deep listening. And during the process of deep listening, we can learn so much about our own perception and their perceptions. And that is the best way, the only way, to remove terrorism.
Anger is the energy which people use in order to act. But when you are angry, you are not lucid. And you might do wrong things. That is why compassion is a better energy. And the energy of compassion is very strong.
I think we can learn, can always learn from our suffering. In the ash of suffering, a phoenix can be born. And that is why mindfulness helps us to look deeply into the difficulty, the suffering we have. And many positives will come out of that. It depends on our way of responding to the event. There are ways that can bring more suffering. Then, there are ways that can bring relief right away and hope. It depends on our mind. And that is why mindfulness and concentration can help tremendously in bringing insight.
Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself.
And if we know how to handle the present moment, we don't have to worry much about the future.
If the present moment has peace and joy and happiness, and then the future will have also.
Happiness and suffering, they support each other. They "inter-are". To be is to "inter-be". It is like the left and the right. If the left is not there, the right cannot be there. So the same thing is true with suffering and happiness. Good and evil, they "inter-are" also. In everyone of us, there are good seeds and there are bad seeds.
There is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus. You cannot grow lotus on marble. You have to grow it on the mud. So suffering is the kind of mud that we must be able to use, in order to grow the flower of understanding and love.
The first mantra is: "Darling, I'm here for you." When you love someone, the best thing you can offer him or her is your presence. How can you love if you are not there? And you look into his eyes and say, "Darling, you know something? I'm here for you." You offer him or her your presence, and your true presence. You are not preoccupied with the past or the future, your project. You are for your beloved one.
The second mantra is: "Darling, I know you are there and I am so happy because you are truly there." You recognize the presence of your beloved one as something very precious. And you use your mindfulness to recognize that, embrace your beloved one with mindfulness and she will bloom like a flower. To be loved means to be recognized as existing.
The third mantra is what you practice when your beloved one suffers. "Darling, I know you suffer...that is why I am here for you." Before you do something to help her, to help him, your presence already can bring some relief.
And the fourth mantra is a little bit more difficult. That is when you suffer. And you believe your suffering has been caused by your beloved one, so you suffer so deeply. And you prefer to go to your room and close the door and suffer alone. You get hurt. And you want to punish him or her for having made you suffer. And the mantra is to overcome that. The mantra is: "Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice. Please help me." You go to him. You go to her. And practice that. And if you can bring yourself to say that mantra, you suffer less right away.

Thank you thank you thank you, dear Oprah Winfrey, for setting the stage for this interview to happen.

Thank you thank you thank you, dear Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, for the enlightening and liberating wisdom.

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